Movie review rant 2019
- Thread starter littleRedPanda
- Start date
John Wick is fantastic. The plot is no frills - Russian mobsters kill his dog and steal his car, so he kills them all - but that's all you need. It is kind of like that other great Keanu movie, Speed, where the plot is simply that there is a bomb on the bus, the end.I really need to watch the John Wick movies..
What others see: Academy award winner Halle Berry
What I see: Razzie award winner Halle BerryCatwoman- never forget, never forgive
John Wick 2 goes deeper into the assassin world and that ends up being more than a little silly if you stop to think about any of it, but it does stay within the rules it has set up which should be a main goal of any movie.
I tried once. Didn't make it.Never watched it, never will!
Christopher Robin
So the CinemaSins video of this came out the other day so I thought I'd watch the film first. I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting much from it and mainly watched it for my daughter, but I loved it. It's an absolute delight, utterly charming, and quite amusing as well.
The film centres on Christopher Robin as an adult, who has forgotten how to enjoy life (or play, as the stuffed animals call it!) and he ends up back in Hundred Acre Wood with all his old friends . The friends end up in London and high jinks ensue, a very touching ending happens and it left me with a warm glow.
The cast are great, the voice acting is brilliant, and there is one scene with some amazing comic talent from British TV. My only complaint is it isn't long enough, coming in at about 95 minutes without credits.
8 out of 10
So the CinemaSins video of this came out the other day so I thought I'd watch the film first. I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting much from it and mainly watched it for my daughter, but I loved it. It's an absolute delight, utterly charming, and quite amusing as well.
The film centres on Christopher Robin as an adult, who has forgotten how to enjoy life (or play, as the stuffed animals call it!) and he ends up back in Hundred Acre Wood with all his old friends . The friends end up in London and high jinks ensue, a very touching ending happens and it left me with a warm glow.
The cast are great, the voice acting is brilliant, and there is one scene with some amazing comic talent from British TV. My only complaint is it isn't long enough, coming in at about 95 minutes without credits.
8 out of 10
Because @ThylacineAlive asked, here are my thoughts on Logan (2017). I honestly don't see why this film is so loved by nearly everyone, it's an okay film but not the greatest superhero movie ever in my opinion.
For a start, the R rating wasn't revolutionary. Unless of course the Blade trilogy aren't superhero films of course... And for a big chunk of the film the only reason the rating appears to be in place is to allow Sir Patrick Stewart free reign to drop F bombs all over the place. Berserker mode is fantastic, well worth the rating but unfortunately it doesn't last nearly long enough, and after 9 appearances by Jackman I feel we deserved a little bit more of it.
Stephen Merchant is critically under used as "that f***ing albino" but I admit that's subject to opinion. I think Stephen Merchant is brilliant so definitely a negative in my book.
The whole phone footage Logan finds just looks to slick and professional for a phone camera, complete with editing and a voice over. It's not a massive gripe but it really did bring me out of the film. I mean she was supposed to be filming discreetly but no one seems bothered by her clearly filming, you even see other staff in the video.
Why they stop at that farm house is anyone's guess. Why put an innocent family at risk just because they fed you? Best (and most heroic) thing they could have done is leave well alone after helping them.
Evil Logan looked awful, and surprise surprise, another superhero movie where the finale is a hero fighting someone with the same powers as themselves. Not exactly original by this point in time!
To end on some positives, X23 was a revelation and Hugh Jackman played his part brilliantly.
For a start, the R rating wasn't revolutionary. Unless of course the Blade trilogy aren't superhero films of course... And for a big chunk of the film the only reason the rating appears to be in place is to allow Sir Patrick Stewart free reign to drop F bombs all over the place. Berserker mode is fantastic, well worth the rating but unfortunately it doesn't last nearly long enough, and after 9 appearances by Jackman I feel we deserved a little bit more of it.
Stephen Merchant is critically under used as "that f***ing albino" but I admit that's subject to opinion. I think Stephen Merchant is brilliant so definitely a negative in my book.
The whole phone footage Logan finds just looks to slick and professional for a phone camera, complete with editing and a voice over. It's not a massive gripe but it really did bring me out of the film. I mean she was supposed to be filming discreetly but no one seems bothered by her clearly filming, you even see other staff in the video.
Why they stop at that farm house is anyone's guess. Why put an innocent family at risk just because they fed you? Best (and most heroic) thing they could have done is leave well alone after helping them.
Evil Logan looked awful, and surprise surprise, another superhero movie where the finale is a hero fighting someone with the same powers as themselves. Not exactly original by this point in time!
To end on some positives, X23 was a revelation and Hugh Jackman played his part brilliantly.
This is interesting and really shows just how subjective these things can be. I do not disagree with most of your criticisms, but I still think this is one of the greatest superhero movies ever made.
But for the ones I do disagree with:
-The R rating was for much more than Patrick Stewart being able to swear. The blood and gore found throughout the film would not have been allowed if the film had been PG-13.
-Stephen Merchant's character wasn't central to the plot, though, and for the time he had he really stood out.
-They stopped at the house because Charles pushed/guilt-tripped Logan into doing so. It was an extremely stupid move, and Logan knew that, but they were all tired and could not resist a home cooked meal. They even initially planned to leave right after the food, but everyone was having such a great time and felt so happy for the first time in who knows how long, that they didn't want to leave and couldn't resist a cozy place to sleep for just one night. They still planned to leave at the break of dawn, but they'd given into their desires against their better judgement and that whole family, Charles, and Caliban paid for it.
~Thylo
I agree, but (other than the first fight) the first 30 minutes consists of Patrick Stewart swearing, a lot. And then admittedly the gore stakes go up and it deserves an R rating. But the first 30 minutes are really slow in my opinion. Other opinions are always available though.
But still, not enough Merchant in my opinion!
But why would Logan agree to that, it makes zero sense to me. I understand the whole " being exhausted" motivation for Charles, but Logan should have known better.
So I decided to finally give in and watch/play that Black Mirror: Bandersnatch interactive Netflix movie thingy. My understanding is that it can either be really good or really bad depending on which paths you choose, and unfortunately for me I apparently chose bad paths. To me, though, that just makes it a really poor 'choose your own adventure' if there are many paths to follow that make for a bad story.
I also think any 'choose your own adventure' that will stop and tell you you made the wrong choice and force you to go back and pick one single specific option for the story to advance is a really poorly made one. What's the point of having a choice if often only one of your two options advances the story and the other just wastes your time because you have to go back and rechoose. There's also a couple of instances where you're only given one option to begin with, so I don't know why they waste your 10 seconds with it.
I went through the entire story twice, and played around with some of the options in the middle after I figured out which ones make you restart or give you different storylines. Both endings I got were extremely confusing and made absolutely no sense. Both times it felt like the story wasn't completed yet and I had made the mistake of getting to an end before I'd actually gone through the entirety of the story, but from what I can tell this is just how the movie is. There are huge plot holes and dangling story threads no matter what options you choose, and I'm having a hard time figuring out what the overall message or- well- point to it all is.
To its credit, it does have some very interesting story aspects to it and at least one very fun meta moment. It feels as though they were really onto something great here, but they just mucked it all up by introducing the multiple timelines and user interactions. This probably would be a very well-made movie had they just made it normally and dropped all the interactive user stuff. Maybe if I play it again keeping the answers I wants me to choose in mind I'll enjoy myself more? It still shouldn't come to that, though. 5.5 out of 10.
~Thylo
I also think any 'choose your own adventure' that will stop and tell you you made the wrong choice and force you to go back and pick one single specific option for the story to advance is a really poorly made one. What's the point of having a choice if often only one of your two options advances the story and the other just wastes your time because you have to go back and rechoose. There's also a couple of instances where you're only given one option to begin with, so I don't know why they waste your 10 seconds with it.
I went through the entire story twice, and played around with some of the options in the middle after I figured out which ones make you restart or give you different storylines. Both endings I got were extremely confusing and made absolutely no sense. Both times it felt like the story wasn't completed yet and I had made the mistake of getting to an end before I'd actually gone through the entirety of the story, but from what I can tell this is just how the movie is. There are huge plot holes and dangling story threads no matter what options you choose, and I'm having a hard time figuring out what the overall message or- well- point to it all is.
To its credit, it does have some very interesting story aspects to it and at least one very fun meta moment. It feels as though they were really onto something great here, but they just mucked it all up by introducing the multiple timelines and user interactions. This probably would be a very well-made movie had they just made it normally and dropped all the interactive user stuff. Maybe if I play it again keeping the answers I wants me to choose in mind I'll enjoy myself more? It still shouldn't come to that, though. 5.5 out of 10.
~Thylo
Ok so I did just that and I got a story that was a bit more coherent and satisfying but there was still a lot missing and a lot that didn't get concluded.
~Thylo
Have you never been in the situation that your daughter/wife etc. insists on something that you're opposed to, but you give in because you're exhausted, tired and want to avoid drama or the "silent treatment"? There's your answer.
I suspect the "being chased by the bad guys" thing would over-ride any such "situation".
I don't think the conversation would go:
"I think we should stop here with this nice family for the night."
"But we're being chased by people who will kill everyone in their way to get to us!"
"Pssh, so what? Jackass."
I have, yes, but I've never been hunted by a military group that want to kill me, just like @Chlidonias pointed out!
I live for the day my daughter gives me the silent treatment, she's too young to sulk and would rather cry instead!
I'm afraid @Chli that you lack the experience to realize how exhausting children can be to judge fairly...
To both you and @Brum and in defense of Logan: sickness, constant stress and exhaustion can make even smart people do apparently stupid things. Even fictional metahumans. To give in to a tempting rest despite all the danger makes Logan actually more human. Is it dumb? Yes, but it makes more sense (at least to a tired dad like me) than Dwayne Johnson jumping around in "Rampage" after being shot in the abdomen.
To both you and @Brum and in defense of Logan: sickness, constant stress and exhaustion can make even smart people do apparently stupid things. Even fictional metahumans. To give in to a tempting rest despite all the danger makes Logan actually more human. Is it dumb? Yes, but it makes more sense (at least to a tired dad like me) than Dwayne Johnson jumping around in "Rampage" after being shot in the abdomen.
To be fair they weren't being actively chased at the time. Yes the bad guys were looking for them, but the heros were a country border and several states away at this point with the bad guys having no idea where they were going and seemingly having no way to track them.
You have a paralyzed old man pushing 100 with a mental disease and an 11-year-old girl who you just found out is your daughter, neither of whom have rested or eaten in potentially days. You yourself are exhausted, starving, and you're also dying slowly so you're in pain. As far as you know the bad guys don't have any idea where you've gone or where you're going, and they can't track you down. You have the option of a couple hours rest and a home cooked meal (this was the original situation he agreed to, staying the night was something he only gave into after he had been resting there for a while and let his guard down), with everyone in your company insisting they need this. It's not too unbelievable that Logan would have made the wrong decision here.
~Thylo
Well, all I can say is that next time I'm being chased by bad guys I'm going to team up with Brum then.
Unless his daughter starts to cry...
We'd just give her a lollipop or a bottle of gin or whatever it is that fathers in Birmingham give their daughters to stop them crying, and keep on driving. We definitely wouldn't stop at a horse family and wait to be slaughtered.Unless his daughter starts to cry...
In the meantime, you and ThylacineAlive would be tucking each other up under a cozy duvet with a sign outside the door saying "Notice to bad guys: we're in here asleep".*
*I realise that last sentence may read a little dodgy, but we'll assume there are two beds.
Darn, the one flaw in my plan!!Or until you come across a bar...
"I think we should stop here at this bar for a drink."
"But we're being chased by people who will kill everyone in their way to get to us!"
"Pssh, so what? Jackass."
"I knew I should have gone with Batto..."