Jokes Only a Zoochatter Would Understand

ChIkEn NuGrEt said:
The Top Six Worst Birds To Start A War Against

10. Pigeons, Corvids, Song Birds, & basic small city birds
There are just so many...

9. Geese, Swans, Ducks, Penguins & Loons
Let's face it, no one wants to go up against these hyperaggressive Loonatics.
(see what I did there?:p)

8. Vultures
First the dead and now the living! But seriously a few species drop rocks, and even bones in an attempt to crack open the bones of their prey.

7. Hawks
Essentially your basic bird of prey build.

6. Falcons
Like hawks but instead of attacking with their claws they specialize in beak warfare. Plus they're notorious for dive-bombing their prey.

5. Emus
Australia already lost a war against these guys, plus they apparently know how to calculate the range of a gun. o_O

4. Eagles
Basically larger hawks that traded their speed for more strength and power.

3. Owls
Kinda like nocturnal hawks that have unlocked stealth. They're essentially silent but when they do make noise it sounds like the gates to hell have opened up. :eek:

2. Ostriches
Emus on steroids really.

1. Cassowaries
So they're essentially a hybrid of emus and velociraptors, oh and they have a pretty awesome crest too. :cool:
Click to expand...


Magpies have killed more Australians than all other bird species combined and twice as many than Cassowaries.

(* Two deaths to magpies, one to cassowaries)

Australians are more scared of magpies than of poisonous spiders, deadly snakes, crocodiles or sharks. True fact - ask any Australian.

Magpies are not afraid of anything - they will even attack our largest bird of prey, the Wedge Tailed Eagle.

wedgie-Aus-Geo_WEB.jpg
 
Simon Hampel said:
Magpies have killed more Australians than all other bird species combined and twice as many than Cassowaries.

(* Two deaths to magpies, one to cassowaries)

Australians are more scared of magpies than of poisonous spiders, deadly snakes, crocodiles or sharks. True fact - ask any Australian.

Magpies are not afraid of anything - they will even attack our largest bird of prey, the Wedge Tailed Eagle.

wedgie-Aus-Geo_WEB.jpg
Click to expand...
Oh yeah I forgot about the Australian Death Crows.
 
The Cassowary said:
Well yeah, poisonousspiders aren’t a big deal; it’s the venomous ones you have to watch out for :p
Click to expand...

I dunno - have you tried licking a redback spider lately? How about rubbing a Sydney funnel web over your skin. Can you DEMONSTRATE for me that they are not poisonous? Go ahead - I'll wait :P

Either way, nobody has died from a spider bite in Australia in over 40 years, whereas someone died from a magpie attack fairly recently.
 
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