Movie review rant 2015

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Just found this thread and based on the above post, I'd say you would enjoy the YouTube channel CinemaSins:p

They even have a video on After Earth.

~Thylo:cool:
 
ThylacineAlive said:
Just found this thread and based on the above post, I'd say you would enjoy the YouTube channel CinemaSins:p

They even have a video on After Earth.

~Thylo:cool:
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CinemaSins' commentaries have become too bloated and nitpicky for their own good; better watch HonestTrailers and HISHE instead.
 
Oz The Great And Powerful

This was on tv tonight. It had several people I don't like in it, but it also had Rachel Weisz in it. On the one hand it was an awful movie, but on the other hand it had Rachel Weisz in it. Have I mentioned Rachel Weisz was in it?

Seriously though, this was a terrible movie, although the flying baboons were cool (even cooler would have been if they could have fitted in some flying emperor tamarins and flying red uakaris!!). Half of it didn't make much sense, a lot of it actively went against what would be required to tie into the later story of The Wizard Of Oz, and the characters were largely utter idiots. Would actual genuine witches really be fooled by a twit who could pull plastic flowers out of his sleeve?

James Franco is a horrible actor. I mean, he is good in some things but overall he just can't act. Mila Kunis was as annoying as ever, but even stranger in this movie was that when she was in her ridiculous Wicked Witch make-up I couldn't get past her Meg voice! It turned every scene she was in into some weird live-action Family Guy episode. Rachel Weisz was just standing there looking at her thinking "shut up Meg".

So let's say... five stars out of ten. I chose five because that's the number of times I have used the name Rachel Weisz in this post.
 
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Chlidonias said:
the above quote was from July last year. I just watched this movie last night on tv and I can't believe you rated it five out of ten! It is barely even worth one out of ten!

The CGI is not good, and the accents the actors put on are just horrible, randomly coming and going or changing into something totally different every few scenes. The acting is painful to watch - I can only assume Will Smith checked his entire personality at the door in order to let his son look good in comparison, but it does not work. I read a comment online somewhere about how Jayden Smith is so awful that he can't even play Will Smith's son believably, which is pretty much dead-accurate. His whiny voice and roaming eyebrows certainly don't help. Perhaps explaining the acting is that the movie seems to take the attitude that lacking fear makes one some sort of robot (if you have watched the movie you'll know what I mean).

The story is a muddled mess too. Humans destroyed the Earth and turned it into a toxic barren wasteland, so they left for another planet a thousand years prior to when the movie is set. And yet in just 1000 years Earth has become full of giant plants and animals, all of which "have evolved to kill humans". How, exactly? Oh, and the ship the Smith's crash on just happens to be carrying a fear-detecting monster because reasons.

(In relation to the above paragraph, nanoboy got his review slightly wrong which is understandable because he had probably started playing his gameboy by five minutes in. The humans destroyed the Earth, moved to another planet, but that planet had aliens which released the fear-monsters to kill them all. Earth and the giant animals there had nothing to do with the aliens at all. So basically the central plot of the movie had nothing really to do with the movie).
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Ooh ok ok, I thought they crashed on earth. But, as we seem to agree, a horrible movie all around.
 
Chlidonias said:
Oz The Great And Powerful

This was on tv tonight. It had several people I don't like in it, but it also had Rachel Weisz in it. On the one hand it was an awful movie, but on the other hand it had Rachel Weisz in it. Have I mentioned Rachel Weisz was in it?

Seriously though, this was a terrible movie, although the flying baboons were cool (even cooler would have been if they could have fitted in some flying emperor tamarins and flying red uakaris!!). Half of it didn't make much sense, a lot of it actively went against what would be required to tie into the later story of The Wizard Of Oz, and the characters were largely ******. Would actual genuine witches really be fooled by an idiot who could pull plastic flowers out of his sleeve?

James Franco is a horrible actor. I mean, he is good in some things but overall he just can't act. Mila Kunis was as annoying as ever, but even stranger in this movie was that when she was in her ridiculous Wicked Witch make-up I couldn't get past her Meg voice! It turned every scene she was in into some weird live-action Family Guy episode. Rachel Weisz was just standing there looking at her thinking "shut up Meg".

So let's say... five stars out of ten. I chose five because that's the number of times I have used the name Rachel Weisz in this post.
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I think I fell asleep during this one. Mila looked very old in this film. Rachel Weisz was ok, I guess.
 
Ender's Game - 7/10

Another book about teenagers that got turned into a film is this one. You know what? Don't let Twilight and Hunger Games taint your expectations of teen films - this was a very adult movie. Although set in the future at a time when Earth is preparing for a second invasion of aliens, this was by no means an 'alien film': aliens only had about 5 minutes of screen time. Instead, this was a movie (to me anyway) about leadership and strategy. It was fascinating to hear the young boy's reasons for beating a student to a pulp, and seeing how he 'managed up' (i.e. managed his line manager). Definitely worth renting.
 
Wreck It Ralph - 9/10

I fell asleep when I watched this a few years ago, so I borrowed it from a friend with no preconceived notions about the film's quality or story. I am sure you all know the story - we get to go inside the world of videogames and follow a 'baddie' on his journey to become a 'good guy'. It's an animated flick, but like all Disney children's movies, there are many adult themes and jokes. It's a fun movie that's worth a rent, though it's probably on 'free to air' by now.
 
nanoboy said:
Ooh ok ok, I thought they crashed on earth. But, as we seem to agree, a horrible movie all around.
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they did crash on Earth. Hence the movie's name, After Earth. Wait, that doesn't make sense.

Anyway, humans destroyed Earth's environment so left for another planet. That planet had evil aliens on it who were basically useless to the plot apart for providing the needless presence of the fear-monster. Will Smith's ship was going... somewhere, I missed that bit... and somehow they crashed on Earth. Like when you are catching the bus home from work and it crashes into Tibet. Happens all the time.

And yes indeed, we do agree it was a horrible movie all around. ;)
 
nanoboy said:
Ender's Game - 7/10

Another book about teenagers that got turned into a film is this one. You know what? Don't let Twilight and Hunger Games taint your expectations of teen films - this was a very adult movie. Although set in the future at a time when Earth is preparing for a second invasion of aliens, this was by no means an 'alien film': aliens only had about 5 minutes of screen time. Instead, this was a movie (to me anyway) about leadership and strategy. It was fascinating to hear the young boy's reasons for beating a student to a pulp, and seeing how he 'managed up' (i.e. managed his line manager). Definitely worth renting.
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Hunger Games is on tv here right at this very moment!! I tried to watch it, got five minutes in, and turned off the tv.
 
nanoboy said:
Wreck It Ralph - 9/10

I fell asleep when I watched this a few years ago, so I borrowed it from a friend with no preconceived notions about the film's quality or story. I am sure you all know the story - we get to go inside the world of videogames and follow a 'baddie' on his journey to become a 'good guy'. It's an animated flick, but like all Disney children's movies, there are many adult themes and jokes. It's a fun movie that's worth a rent, though it's probably on 'free to air' by now.
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this was on tv here a few weeks ago. You may have picked up by now that I don't own a DVD player, or even a VHS player. I liked it, it was fun and nice.
 
Chlidonias said:
New Zealand also only has one venomous land creature, so we are still better than Australia.
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Are you referring to the Katipo?

All spiders are venomous to one degree or another, you've only got one that has any marked effect on Homo sapiens is what you mean.

And that doesn't make you better than Australia, just boring.

:p

Hix
 
Hix said:
Are you referring to the Katipo?

All spiders are venomous to one degree or another, you've only got one that has any marked effect on Homo sapiens is what you mean.

And that doesn't make you better than Australia, just boring.
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yes, the katipo, and I did mean venomous in relation to its danger to humans. (Although to be pedantic, not all spiders are venomous, there are a few which lack venom glands).
 
Night at the Museum 3 - 7/10

Simple review: if you enjoyed the first two, then you must watch this third (and supposedly final) instalment. The comedy is slapstick, and the jokes are unfunny in parts, but overall, it was a fun movie. I am looking forward to Zoolander 2. (Recent video of Ben and Owen in character at a Paris fashion show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CqErSY8MgQ)
 
I've just been watching a few trailers.

Star Wars Vll looks amazing.

The new Terminator movie looks... confusing?
 
nanoboy said:
Night at the Museum 3 - 7/10

Simple review: if you enjoyed the first two, then you must watch this third (and supposedly final) instalment. The comedy is slapstick, and the jokes are unfunny in parts, but overall, it was a fun movie. I am looking forward to Zoolander 2. (Recent video of Ben and Owen in character at a Paris fashion show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CqErSY8MgQ)
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I watched this (twice!) recently and think it's the least attractive film in the series. Worst part is Rebel Wilson, her accent grates for the duration of the movie, a 7 out of 10 is generous in my opinion!
The only saving graces are the cameos from Dick Van Dyke, Mickey Rooney and Hugh Jackman and the touching tribute to Robin Williams at the end. Definitely one to avoid unless you're eager to see how far they can stretch this story out for!
 
Brum said:
I watched this (twice!) recently and think it's the least attractive film in the series. Worst part is Rebel Wilson, her accent grates for the duration of the movie, a 7 out of 10 is generous in my opinion!
The only saving graces are the cameos from Dick Van Dyke, Mickey Rooney and Hugh Jackman and the touching tribute to Robin Williams at the end. Definitely one to avoid unless you're eager to see how far they can stretch this story out for!
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Yup, that's a fair assessment - it was the worst of the three. But then again, you did watch it twice! :p

Rebel is an Aussie! Aussie pride!! :D
 
Chlidonias said:
I've just been watching a few trailers.

Star Wars Vll looks amazing.

The new Terminator movie looks... confusing?
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I saw Episodes 1,2 and 3 in the cinema, but was too young to see 4,5 and 6 when first released. I haven't been to a cinema in a couple years, but I really want to see Episode 7 in IMax 3D. Given the cult following of Star Wars, I suspect that I may have to wait until about March 2016 to get a good seat.

Terminator - I'm a fan, but I'll wait for the Blu Ray release. Not sure what's confusing about the trailer though - as far as I understand, it's a reboot masquerading as canon because "the future has been reset". And what Terminator movie would be complete with the lines "I'll be back" and "come with me if you want to live". Classic! :D

I'm looking forward to reading a review of Fast and Furious 7 - anyone seen it yet?
 
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