Animals That Are The Biggest Jerks (Inspired By Reddit)

Lycaon

Lycaon

Well-Known Member
Animals can be cool & cute, but they can also be jerks.

Giant Tortoises
These guys are actually more stupid than jerks. They will not leave you alone. Sometimes, they literally sit in front of the door, so you're gonna have a lot of fun trying to convince these living rocks to move. Also, they sit in places only to annoy you. If you got the hose out, they'll sit on it. If you're bringing them food, they'll sit in their trough.

Orangutans
Orangutans are smart enough to get people fired. At the Henry Doorly Zoo, they would keep finding the orangutans just chilling outside, when they were supposed to be inside in the morning. Someone was about to be fired for negligence when this kept happening, but when they installed security cameras, they discovered that one of the orangutans, Fu Manchu, kept hiding a piece of wire between his lips & gums and picking the lock so he could get out.

I mean, I'll give him credit for creativity.

Swans
These guys are just pure evil. If there are just some ducks swimming around nearby, they go to kill it. If a keeper is there to clean its crap and stuff, it will initiate attack mode.

If you guys have anything to add, please reply to this thread.
 
LionTamarin said:
Swans
These guys are just pure evil. If there are just some ducks swimming around nearby, they go to kill it.
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Ah, no. I've seen five of the six Cygnus swans many times, and have never seen them clobber anything. They just ignore ducks and geese nearby. Now I readily agree that breeding pairs of swans are often mean as can be, but protecting their offspring hardly can qualify them as evil.
 
Common chimpanzee:

The obvious example would be the Common chimpanzee. For the record, they’re my favourite species and labelling them as jerks borders on anthropomorphic; but nonetheless:

Most alpha males rise to the top of the hierarchy through the support of their community; while others assume the role through brute force. These males are known as tyrants and readily dish out physical punishment and discipline for no reason, creating a culture of anxiety and fear. Typically, the only way these males can be displaced is for them to be killed. This has happened both in the wild and in captivity.

Male led infanticide is nothing unusual in the animal kingdom; but high ranking females of this species often kill the offspring of lower ranking females to protect their place in the hierarchy.

Male Chimpanzees engage in displays of physical strength, bashing against walls and logs. Sometimes they use females as a springboard, leaping off them as they cower against the grass.

Juveniles and adolescents seem to take delight in tormenting lower ranking females in the troop, as they mature and learn their place in the hierarchy.

This aside, the complexity of their culture and the many positive interactions they have on a day to day basis make them a fascinating species to observe.
 
LionTamarin said:
Orangutans are smart enough to get people fired. At the Henry Doorly Zoo, they would keep finding the orangutans just chilling outside, when they were supposed to be inside in the morning. Someone was about to be fired for negligence when this kept happening, but when they installed security cameras, they discovered that one of the orangutans, Fu Manchu, kept hiding a piece of wire between his lips & gums and picking the lock so he could get out.
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Doesn't make them jerks... just goes to show how smart orangs can be! They are very fascinating creatures and you'll quickly realize how similar they are to humans if you watch and observe them for just a little time.

Most animals aren't actually jerks, some regular behaviors of animals may seem very aggressive or mean to the general public but in reality these behaviors are completely normal. Several species exhibit mating behaviors that look rather aggresive (eg: big cats, rhinos).

And for the record, I wouldn't call any species "pure evil" as none of these animals have done anything compared to what Homo sapiens has done to our planet and the other millions of species that call Earth home... ;):mad:
 
Agreed, if there is a conscientious debate about this the real jerks are us humans for ultimately failing to understand we do not control Nature and Earth and remain hellbent on course for Earth's total environmental destruction. We have only overtime now to make mends and have inclusivity and sustainability at the heart of our présence and activities here on this Planet.

One could also argue f.i giant tortoises sit out our stupidity and patience helps them survive into the hundred years and more. So, Who is the smartest? LOL
 
Animals R AMAZING! said:
Doesn't make them jerks... just goes to show how smart orangs can be! They are very fascinating creatures and you'll quickly realize how similar they are to humans if you watch and observe them for just a little time.

Most animals aren't actually jerks, some regular behaviors of animals may seem very aggressive or mean to the general public but in reality these behaviors are completely normal. Several species exhibit mating behaviors that look rather aggresive (eg: big cats, rhinos).

And for the record, I wouldn't call any species "pure evil" as none of these animals have done anything compared to what Homo sapiens has done to our planet and the other millions of species that call Earth home... ;):mad:
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Agreed besides humans, no animal actually does things purely to be rude or a jerk, it’s more or less just survival, for example swans are in general territorial and are very protective of their nests and chicks. The mention of the orangutan is while incredibly smart, not evil in any way. The tortoises while that must be incredibly annoying, once again is not malicious in any way nor evil. Why they do that I have no idea, but they are in no way jerks.
 
ParathePineapple said:
Agreed besides humans, no animal actually does things purely to be rude or a jerk, it’s more or less just survival, for example swans are in general territorial and are very protective of their nests and chicks. The mention of the orangutan is while incredibly smart, not evil in any way. The tortoises while that must be incredibly annoying, once again is not malicious in any way nor evil. Why they do that I have no idea, but they are in no way jerks.
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Also, this is really only a joke. I know animals aren't really jerks, but this is really mainly supposed to be comedic.
 
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