Mucho Macho Zoo

Batto

Batto

Well-Known Member
10+ year member
Inspired by a recent conversation with a guy who can be best described as an amalgamation of the characters Adam Sandler played in the 1990s, a background joke by The Simpsons ("Ultimate Fighting Zoo") and the movie "Fierce Creatures", I thought up the following game. Let's assume said guy has inherited a fortune and wants to invest said fortune into a zoo to his liking. Despite all his other shortcomings, he's been wise enough to hire experienced and efficient professionals for the creation, building and maintainance of the zoo and its animals, so we don't have to worry about any animal welfare issues, husbandry design etc.
So what do you think a zoo aimed at an immature, "Xtreme" and "pseudo-macho" audience of "Big Boys" and "tough chicks" would look like that still wants to be a serious zoo?

My first suggestion:

"Parasite Paradise": A complex dedicated to all kind of endo- and ectoparasites, including large-than-life exponats, gory yet educational signs and live specimens, such as
- Mosquitos (like ZSL)
- Amazonian giant leeches
- Bedbugs
- Common vampire bats
- Oxpeckers
- Candiru / lamprey tank
- Long-tailed paradise whydahs (brood parasitism)
- Hystrichopsylla schefferi (even just as an exponat)
- etc.
...including live feedings for the sanguinous species

"Martial Mallards"

An aviary complex dedicated to the meanest of waterfowl, including, among others, steamer ducks, Camp Barren geese and toxic African spurred geese. Guides will tell the audience about the often unknown yet crazy, raunchy & brutal life of mean ducks, including their common misbehaviour when it comes to dating/mating. Adventurous visitors can join the keeper in going into the enclosure of a breeding pair for a close-up personal experience - after signing a weiter first. ;)


"Safari of Death"
A typical African savannah exhibit complex, but with a twist: displaying and in details highlighting only species with a proven animal-human conflict history. Hippos, African Bush elephants, lions, Cape buffalo...while there, stop at Café Gustave for some extra long Croc Sandwiches.

The non-Petting Petting Zoo:
A rustical farmyard, dedicated to some of the domestic breeds you might not want your kids to come close. Including Spanish fighting bulls, Hérens cows, shamo chickens, Berkshire/Hampshire x razorback mixes, Marwari stallions, F1 Savannah cats etc., with a kennel of spoilt Chihuahuas (accompanied by their Karen owners) as the main highlight.

What other concepts can you think of to bring in your "Ricky Bobby" crowd while secretly educating them?
 
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What about animals like Babirusa and Iberian Ribbed Newt, whose bones grow into/outside of their body?
 
birdsandbats said:
What about animals like Babirusa and Iberian Ribbed Newt, whose bones grow into/outside of their body?
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The rip bones of the ribbed newts don't grow outside, but they can push them through their skin and retract them. At WdG, I like to compare them to Wolverine's "Snkt!" retractable claws, and the visitors love that analogy
 
Hmmm, the best that comes to my mind are gorillas and red kangaroos for an area dedicated to flexing arm muscles but I am sure you can come up with a better idea for these species or come up with more “flexing” animals @ Batto.

Also I’d put free ranging geese, be it domestic geese, greylag geese, or Canada geese. It would be a honking and hissing frenzy during gosling season.
 
PossumRoach said:
Hmmm, the best that comes to my mind are gorillas and red kangaroos for an area dedicated to flexing arm muscles but I am sure you can come up with a better idea for these species or come up with more “flexing” animals @ Batto.
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The tug-of-war matches with lions vs. bodybuilders come to mind. Such monitored interaction might also work with other species and could slightly humble (or inspire?) some over-confident musclemen/-women/-people.
 
Most animals are pretty mean. It would make good topic for Halloween in a zoo.

Meerkats regularly practice infanticide - killing pups of relatives. Most often, the dominant female kills her own grandchildren and grandcousins. Killed newborn cousins are usually eaten, yes, cannibalism.

Bottlenose dolphins kill common porpoises simply to get rid of competition for fish, don't eat them. They also fight, bite and scar each other like many other animals. And dolphins use drugs by biting and maiming live pufferfish to get high on their neurotoxin excretions.

Killer whales - the name says it all. Obligate carnivores, killing other cetaceans and playing with their food while alive.

I think zoos should not hide such facts and idealize animals as cuter or better than reality. This can also prevent visitors entering exhibits, and the likes of PETA starting public hysteria about zoo animals. And I think animals are interesting enough as they really are.

Batto said:
The tug-of-war matches with lions vs. bodybuilders come to mind. Such monitored interaction might also work with other species and could slightly humble (or inspire?) some over-confident musclemen/-women/-people.
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If it is marketed as fun, without the whole "machismo" aura, this can be actually a mainstream fun or enrichment for apes and people. The good proportion would be 6-10 children for one chimpanzee.
 
QUOTE="Jurek7, post: 1442154, member: 502"]Meet the Orca Experience, where visitors stand on a floating raft and orcas cooperatively flush them to the pool.[/QUOTE]

Ƴou may enjoy this post: The zoo from hell
 
PossumRoach said:
Hmmm, the best that comes to my mind are gorillas and red kangaroos for an area dedicated to flexing arm muscles but I am sure you can come up with a better idea for these species or come up with more “flexing” animals @ Batto.

Also I’d put free ranging geese, be it domestic geese, greylag geese, or Canada geese. It would be a honking and hissing frenzy during gosling season.
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If an exhibit was to focus on "flexing"/muscular animals, then the Gaur would certainly be a worthy inclusion to that area.

Another idea that could fit this zoo, if it was geared to a more "mature" audience, would be an exhibit on animal reproduction, and the various different ways this occurs, featuring exhibits on parthenogenesis, live-bearing vs. egg-laying vs. oviviparous species, XY vs. ZW sex-determination, different mechanical means of reproduction (e.g. cloacas vs. mammalian genitals, etc.), and then some animals with unique or especially interesting means of reproduction. Insects that cannibalize after reproduction could also be incorporated into such a complex, as could a display on same-sex relationships in the animal kingdom. Perhaps an exhibit for koalas could focus on the prevalence of STDs in the animal kingdom?
 
*BUMP*

Here's na idea that might fit this zoo...

1. CHOMP CHOMP!
This exhibit is dedicated to specific "things that bite" from all the populated continents. With exceptions, they generally feature the same taxonomic groups: big cat, bear, canid, crocodilian, venomous snake, and bird of prey. Some exhibits also feature spider or tarantula species.

North America section- We start in the good ol' U.S. of A. in a simulated deciduous forest exhibit evoking the wouthern United States. A winding path takes visitors past exhibits for black bear, red wolves, and cougars. It transitions into a swamp exhibit where you pass bald eagles before entering a small building. In that building are exhibits for American alligators, black widow spider, and Eastern diamondback rattlesnake.

South America- The building gives way to a large dome simulating the Amazon rainforest. Harpy eagles fly freely. The fence separating visitors from the birds' area is just mietal spikes up and down with no horizontal bars, no space for the birds to land on the fence and so no chance for the visitors and the birds to get too close for comfort. There are dedicated exhibits for Orinoco crocodiles, Cuvier's dwarf caiman, green anaconda, Brazilian ferdelance, red-bellied piranhas, vampire bats, Brazilian wandering spider, and goliath bird-eating spider. You exit the building and come upon an exhibit featuring a pair of jaguars. The "forest" opens up to the Pampas of Argentina where you find a pair of maned wolves. The terrain starts to get rockier as you approach the Andes Mountains. The last exhibit in this section is home to a pair of spectacled bears.

Europe- Polar bears, gray wolves, golden eagle, and wolverine feature in this exhibit simulating the Scandinavian wilderness.

Africa- This exhibit simulates the wilds of Angola. You come upon a simulated thatched hut that features terrariums with orange baboon tarantula, gaboon viper, and African rock python. After you leave the hut, you encounter exhibits for secretary birds and lappett-faced vultures. You next come upon exhibits for black-backed jackal, spotted hyenas and lions.

Australia- Saltwater crocodiles, brown snake, Sydney funnelweb spider, and Tasmanian devils live in this building.

Asia- You start this final section at the Himalayan mountains. Snow leopards and cinereous vultures feature here. Next you are on the open plains of India. Here is an exhibit for sloth bears and another for gharials. Last, you end up in an abandoned temple in southeast Asia. Reticulated python, king cobra, and clouded leoapard live in this exhibit.
 
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