Movie review rant 2018

The only thing you said about JWFK is that it is overcritisized, yet you give it a very high rating. I'm interested to know what you think is good about it, instead of just why it is "not that bad."

The following is just my personal opinion and odds are most of you will still disagree with me but since you asked... (Spoiler Warning for Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom)

The Opening: The entire scene is very tense. We get a small underwater scene with the Mosasaurus and an awesome chase with Rexy (that's her unofficial fandom given name). When Rexy approaches the man the way the lightning shows her face and the Jaws-like theme playing in the background as she approached I love. And just when the dude thinks he's safe the mosasaur breaches a grabs a little snack.

Dinosaur Movie With Dinosaurs:
I don't know about you guys, but when I see a movie about prehistoric animals, I want to see prehistoric animals. Did you know that in the original film, dinosaurs are only onscreen for 14 minutes? (fyi, I'm not trying bash the original) In this film there is hardly screen without a dinosaur, pterosaur, marine lizard, or hybrid in it. And I like that. In total 16 prehistoric animals and 1 hybrid appear in this film.

Good-Looking Dinosaurs: With one exception... (i.e. this scene)
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I feel the prehistoric animals in this film, thanks to a combination of CGI and practical effects, are the most realistic looking they've ever been... (three examples)
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Dinosaurs Off The Island: It's nice to try new things. For 25 years these films have been about people one of two islands running away from dinosaurs (with the exception of JP2's ending). But now that's done. I liked how it was but you can't do the same thing forever. This is how Michael Crichton's original novel ended (with dinos on the mainland) and now the film series has finally taken a step in that direction.

New Locations: Thanks to being off the islands this opens up the series to new locations. Who would of ever expected a dino show down in a kid's bedroom? Or on a mansion roof? I wouldn't of, but now the series can access new and exciting locations.

Cinematography and Filming: This has to be the most beautifully shot entry into the series. Many of the island shot in particular were stunning.
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Claire Isn't A Wimp:
I like Claire more now. She had a Sarah Connor-like transformation between the 4th and 5th films and now she's pretty capable. No more running through a rainforest in high heels for her.

Man and Beast: Humans and non-humans animals in the modern world form bonds. Humans and dogs, humans and dolphins, humans and horses, are all good examples. So in a world if dinosaurs wouldn't if make sense that somewhat similar relationships would form? JW gave us Owen and Blue but this movie really expanded upon that. Some are upset that the Velociraptor has been "de-fanged" so to speak but I like how they're doing it.

Indoraptor: I'm not a fan of hybrids. I'd prefer them to stick with actual dinosaurs, but if they're going to do it, then this how they should. The Indoraptor reminded me of a Xenomorph. I think that's all I need to say for you to understand why I like it.

Some Decent Humor: I hope this franchise never goes MCU-level humor but the series has always had a little. I found lines like "If I don't make it back... remember that you're the one that made me come here" to be enjoyable. I also like it when Gunnar Eversol (the auctioneer) gave a sigh of relief that he was safe in the elevator only to turn around and see the Indoraptor. That's JP humor for yuh.

Maisie: She screamed, as all kids would, but she was also capable and smart. Which is why she's my second favorite kid in this franchise (only behind Eric Kirby).

Malcolm's Back: You can't complain about Jeff Goldblum. His screen time was short, but I went in knowing he'd only has a brief cameo so I wasn't disappointed. And I'm glad he was against relocating the dinosaurs (even though that was the opposite idea of the film's protagonists), it wouldn't of made sense for his character if he weren't.

Lockwood: It was interesting getting some more insight into how this all started. Admittedly his presence left more questions that answers but he was a nice addition. He really didn't deserve his death. Speaking of death...

Cool Deaths: This series has always had cool deaths from Eddie Carr being split in two by mommy and daddy T. rex in JP2 to Zara being snatched up by a Pteranodon then swallowed by the Mosasaurus. But this entry gave us several new ones. I like two in particular: Ken Wheatly's and Eli Mills's. I know some people think Ken's death is the dumbest scene in the film but I loved it. After all people at zoos will idiotically enter big cat enclosures so why couldn't this happen? The fact that he lost a limb is something I've always wanted to see in this franchise (Don't judge me). Eli's death was just plain awesome. First we thought the Compsognathus (little green dinos) were going to get him, then the Carnotaurus (medium sized horned meat eater) would, and finally big, bad Rexy comes in a steals the show. She grabs him then the carno comes in to eat his arm but she's swatted away by Rexy and the arm falls to the ground where the compies began pecking at it. Finally Rexy gives a triumph roar that nodes back to the first film.

Ethical Questions: This film does what this film series has been doing for 25 years: it asks "Just because we can, should we?" This film takes it to a whole new level with human cloning (something which may become relevant to our world in the not to distant future). It also asks questions on animals rights: "Why should we help them? Should we let them just die?" These are questions that modern day conservationists ask as well about modern animals.

Inspiring People to Love Dinosaurs: At the end of the day, this is why I like this franchise: it instills wonder for dinosaurs in people. Even if I hated this movie, I'd still respect it for doing this. Because (this may or may not be obivous) but I'm a bit of a dinosaur geek so I love dinosaurs and anything that inspires young kids, or even adults to love these amazing "terrible lizards" (which is what "Dinosaur" literally means) just as much as I do, I'm all for.

These are just a few reasons of why I like this film. I'm not saying it's the greatest film ever. It certainly has its flaws but I still think it's dang good.
 
The Gamora/Quill relationship plays a pretty vital role in Infinity War :p
Though I do wish they weren't in love because you know that scene where they could've saved the universe, but because of love, he just had to make it harder for everyone!

The other part of the movie where it was very obvious that another solution was possible was the part
Dr. Strange just had to give Thanos the Time Stone, where obviously he could've saved Iron Man after he was dead, since, you know, the reversing time and stuff?....
 
Quill's reaction was completely justified to me. When it comes to stuff like that Marvel was pretty smart and wrote themselves a sweet little scapegoat: Strange knows there's only one possible outcome where they live. Every little plot hole or frustration can be swept away with that fact now.

Personally I think they should have made it more than one scenario where they could win just for realism sake, but never mind.

~Thylo
 
...even if there might have been some hints towards a future Thor/Valkyrie fling.

Valkyrie is a confirmed lesbian, so unless we get the Jane Foster version of Tor then it's not going to appen! ;)

Klaue was the best part by far,

"What is love, baby don't hurt, don't hurt me no more" Best line in the movie! :D :p

Rogue One is the best new StarWars movie to thus far!

Not seen it, not that interested in that either to be honest. (Fun fact; Felicity Jones's sister and my ex/baby mother were friends at school and she used to hang around with Felicity. Kings Norton Girls School if you wanna check it out.) :p

The Gamora/Quill relationship plays a pretty vital role in Infinity War :p

Yeah it does, but not so much in the Guardians movies, which is why I still left out Infinity War in my previous rant! ;)
 
Personally I think they should have made it more than one scenario where they could win just for realism sake, but never mind.

In the Infinity Gauntlet Comic Thanos gives the heroes a 0.05% chance to win, just to impress Lady Death and show that he was gracious enough to give them a chance. Boy did he **** up! ;)
 
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A couple things:
  • I agree Rouge One is the best new Star Wars film
  • I agree Black Panther and Killmonger are good but overrated
  • I agree Quill's reaction was justified and I feel most people would react similarly
  • Valykrie is indeed awesome and along with Korg and Fenrir, the best thing to come out of Thor 3.
  • The whole 1 out 14,000,605 possible ways the Avengers could win is good but think about it: 14,000,605 possible futures is only the amount Doctor Strange saw. In reality there is a infinite amount of possible futures thus there is an infinite amount of ways the Avengers could lose or win. So while it was good what Doctor Strange did, it still doesn't make up for everyone's motivations if that makes sense
 
We won't until we see Chris Pratt ride into battle atop the T. rex during the Dino War the previous movies have been foretelling. I'm also expecting Blue to learn how to use dual machine guns.

~Thylo

I mean, if they're gonna take the franchise in a stupid direction, they might as well go all out. Equip the dinosaurs with weapons and cybernetic enhancements and bionic limbs. Take the genetic engineering element to the next level and give them all sorts of ridiculous abilities. Make the villain a gigantic cyborg T-rex with Hitler's brain and then Hitler-Rex genetically engineers his Nazis to be part dinosaur and then Chris Pratt has to help lead the dinosaurs into a battle with the Dino Nazis. And Claire should ride on a giant pterosaur with a gatling gun mounted on its back, also it can change colors (in addition to camouflage, it flashes bright colors quickly to disorient opponents) and breathe fire.

In the sequel, they fight aliens.
 
Anyone else feeling a little nervous about Ralph Breaks the Internet (aka Wreck-It Ralph 2)? Since it has the characters going through the Internet, I fear it might play like The Emoji Movie (which would, of course, suck). But Disney's animation wing has been on a bit of a hot streak, so at least it should be okay.
 
Anyone else feeling a little nervous about Ralph Breaks the Internet (aka Wreck-It Ralph 2)? Since it has the characters going through the Internet, I fear it might play like The Emoji Movie (which would, of course, suck). But Disney's animation wing has been on a bit of a hot streak, so at least it should be okay.

My main concern is Disney doing too much meta. Granted, that could easily be just a small part of the film and they're just playing it up in the trailer because Disney princesses are popular. But I can't deny, Cinderella breaking her glass slipper and threatening a child with it is hilarious. Plus it might be fun to see the princesses actually interact with each other. Disney Princess merchandise has a rule where the princesses can't look at each other. It's supposed to help keep their individuality but I think it just makes it look like they hate each other.

Also I hate the title, "break the internet" is already a dated phrase, "wrecks the internet" would work so much better! But the movie could still be good, I really liked the first one.
 
My main concern is Disney doing too much meta. Granted, that could easily be just a small part of the film and they're just playing it up in the trailer because Disney princesses are popular. But I can't deny, Cinderella breaking her glass slipper and threatening a child with it is hilarious. Plus it might be fun to see the princesses actually interact with each other. Disney Princess merchandise has a rule where the princesses can't look at each other. It's supposed to help keep their individuality but I think it just makes it look like they hate each other.

Also I hate the title, "break the internet" is already a dated phrase, "wrecks the internet" would work so much better! But the movie could still be good, I really liked the first one.
Well, meta-textual commentaries on the Disney brand have been a staple of their movies since Enchanted. Once Bob Iger's run as CEO of Disney is over, those will be the way you'll tell a Disney movie was made during the Iger era.
I'm relatively confident with the movie possibly being good, since the director of the first movie is back on board, and again, Disney's animated track record over the past 8 or 9 years has been pretty solid overall.
 
Well, meta-textual commentaries on the Disney brand have been a staple of their movies since Enchanted. Once Bob Iger's run as CEO of Disney is over, those will be the way you'll tell a Disney movie was made during the Iger era.
I'm relatively confident with the movie possibly being good, since the director of the first movie is back on board, and again, Disney's animated track record over the past 8 or 9 years has been pretty solid overall.

I'm just a bit discouraged on the meta thing because of the live-action Beauty and the Beast. The changes were obviously there was a response to criticisms of the animated film, but they weren't done in a good way, ya know? But they probably have different departments making the live action and animated films so maybe it won't be an issue.
 
I'm just a bit discouraged on the meta thing because of the live-action Beauty and the Beast. The changes were obviously there was a response to criticisms of the animated film, but they weren't done in a good way, ya know? But they probably have different departments making the live action and animated films so maybe it won't be an issue.
You're right, the live-action movies are made separate from the animated movies. The movies you typically think of when Disney comes to mind like Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Sleeping Beauty, etc. are products of Walt Disney Animation Studios, of which Ralph Breaks the Internet will be their 57th movie.
 
Let's take another look at your detailed reply.

The Opening: The entire scene is very tense.
Given that the previous movies featured similar scenes with the same outcome "Giant monster eats human", it's not really tense.


Dinosaur Movie With Dinosaurs:
I don't know about you guys, but when I see a movie about prehistoric animals, I want to see prehistoric animals. Did you know that in the original film, dinosaurs are only onscreen for 14 minutes?

Good-Looking Dinosaurs:are the most realistic looking they've ever been... (three examples)

Inspiring People to Love Dinosaurs: At the end of the day, this is why I like this franchise: it instills wonder for dinosaurs in people.
As pointed out many, many times by established paleontologists and even in the movies itself (by the character Dr. Henry Wu), these movie creatures are anything but real dinosaurs. They are artifically designed genetic chimeras, based on outdated, exaggerated and scientifically incorrect public notions of dinosaurs. They neither look nor behave like real dinosaurs ever did or would ever do, based on the fossil records and observations of modern animals. All in all, these are just movie monster animals, with each production team trying to outdo the previous ones with more gritty, exaggerated features. And as in pretty much all movie monsters, the less you show of them, the better the suspense effect works. That's why older movies like "The Thing" from 1982, the original Predator or even the original JP work better than their modern copies.

As for Dinosaurs Off The Island: Crichton's original novel actually starts there, with the dinosaurs killing children on the mainland. So nihil novi.

New Locations: Thanks to being off the islands this opens up the series to new locations. Who would of ever expected a dino show down in a kid's bedroom? Or on a mansion roof? I wouldn't of, but now the series can access new and exciting locations.

Cinematography and Filming: This has to be the most beautifully shot entry into the series. Many of the island shot in particular were stunning.

All I see is plenty of CGI scenes - nothing we haven't seen in past movies.

Claire Isn't A Wimp: I like Claire more now. She had a Sarah Connor-like transformation between the 4th and 5th films and now she's pretty capable. No more running through a rainforest in high heels for her.

Her complete reformation from cold business-focused Saulus to dinosaur-hugging Paulus is one of the most implausible character changes and just lazy writing.

Man and Beast: Humans and non-humans animals in the modern world form bonds. Humans and dogs, humans and dolphins, humans and horses, are all good examples. So in a world if dinosaurs wouldn't if make sense that somewhat similar relationships would form? JW gave us Owen and Blue but this movie really expanded upon that. Some are upset that the Velociraptor has been "de-fanged" so to speak but I like how they're doing it.
So future JW films should be like this: ... ?
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Indoraptor: I'm not a fan of hybrids. I'd prefer them to stick with actual dinosaurs, but if they're going to do it, then this how they should. The Indoraptor reminded me of a Xenomorph. I think that's all I need to say for you to understand why I like it.
You just explained why the Indoraptor is not that original - it's just a Xenomorph-ripoff, including its sheer "magical" ninja skills.

The humor wasn't my cup of tea and pretty much what is to be expected from Chris Pratt. Maisie aka The Clone was just as pointless as Lockwood as Hammond 2.0.
Is there really something like a "cool death"? That's more of an ethical question than the half-baked human cloning issue, which even Michael Bay managed to address more adequately in "The Island".
 
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Anyone seen the latest Simpsons episode? It contains quite an amusing JP parody called Geriatric World, well worth a watch! In fact, the whole of Season 30 has been far better than the show has been in years, but maybe tis should be in the TV thread. :)
 
@Batto it was similar to that clip (which I first watched about 15 minutes ago ;)) and I think The Simpsons definitely sought inspiration from it! ;)
 
This thread has been moving along so fast, but I'm going to go back a bit and discuss my opinions on JW:FK.

In general I'd say I wasn't a fan of JW:FK, I didn't hate it as much as some of you, but I didn't like it either. Someone a couple pages back (or maybe on another thread, I can't remember) said the Fallen Kingdom is a movie of two parts, and this is definitely true. The first half is about when they're on the island and while this bit has lots of flaws, I found to be at the very least enjoyable. Everything after they left the island was dreadful, it just kept dragging on and on, especially that chase scene, was that just me or did the chase scene take 20 minutes?

So overall I'd give this movie a 3.5/10, there are some good bits, but there are many better action movies you can watch.
 
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