Animal Jokes/Puns

[Haliaeetus]

What's the difference between pastries and magpies?
The pastries are mince pies, while magpies have wingspans.

 

[birdsandbats]

What do you say if you're about to be attacked by a Newell's Shearwater?

'a 'o

 

[GreatApe]

What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws, while a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

 

[EagleScout610]

Why did the Ape put on sunscreen?

So he didn't get an orangu-tan.

*********

How much did the Ape weigh?

An orangu-ton.

 

[EagleScout610]

What did the large Himalayan cat say when trying to make its Prey feel sage?

'S no leopard here! And then it ate it

 

[Dassie rat]

Which pantomime character wears 4 pairs of wellingtons?

Octopus in Boots

Oh no it doesn't

Oh yes it does