I thought this post deserved a thread of its own - so I split it from the other thread.
While I do recognise that the issue of bullying is a very serious one, unfortunately it's not simply a black-and-white issue. What one person may perceive as bullying may have been seen by another person as just a "robust" debate.
The challenge with online discussions is that most of us don't know each other - the only means we have to judge each other's personalities are the words we write, which does not always tell the full story.
For example - when he first joined the forum, I was under the impression that zooman was a young kid (teenager) - his words were always full of enthusiasm and excitement. So when I met him for the first time at Symbio Wildlife Park a couple of months back, I was surprised to find him older than I am! He was just as enthusiastic and excitable in person as in his writing - and we spent a great day talking about zoos, animals and ZooChat, I thoroughly enjoyed the time I spent with him and the other people at the meetup!
It did demonstrate to me quite clearly that we sometimes make assumptions about people which are inaccurate (and potentially embarrassing!). It can be very difficult to judge people online when we haven't met ... which is one of the reasons I encourage meetups where possible - it completely changed (for the better), the dynamic of one of my other forums (which is much larger and busier than ZooChat), when we started meeting each other in person. I find it leads to a greater understanding of the individuals and their personalities - and with that (hopefully) comes a greater respect for them and their opinions!
I've found the key to understanding online discussion forums and communities is to recognise that there are many different personality types out there, and more than a few personality "disorders" which tend to manifest themselves in various forms on the internet.
Some people are naturally timid and will shy away from conflict, others are far more outgoing and confident. Some people get frustrated easily, others find it easy to ignore or dismiss issues and are pretty "laid back". Some people can be insensitive to the feelings of others. Some people can be overly sensitive themselves. My point is that there are many, many different types of personality out there - and not everyone experiences or feels things in the same way that we might as individuals.
Unfortunately, sometimes conflict does occur in online discussions. The more emotive or controversial the topic, the more likely conflict is to occur. It is not uncommon for some forums to ban the discussion of certain topics because they always result in out-of-control conflict and anger between members. That's certainly the case on one of my other discussion forums where we have some topics that are "verboten" since they always cause problems.
It's not an easy task to find the balance between robust discussion and personal attacks. In general, I find that the Australian Rules football concept of "play the ball, not the man" applies well in most cases. That is - you should feel free to argue at will about the topic at hand - but you should avoid making the discussion personal. Sometimes it is unavoidable that the topic becomes personal - perhaps the discussion is actually about someone, which of course is always going to be personal, especially when discussing more controversial people. But as a general rule, if you can keep an arguments on topic and not make it personal - there is less likely to be problems arising.
I don't tolerate personal attacks on the site - but again, there is a large grey area between "personal disagreement" and "personal attack". I think it largely comes down to intent - but that in itself can be very difficult to judge in an online medium (much more so than in person - where body language gives a lot of clues about intent).
I also differentiate between a "personal attack" and "bullying". A personal attack is generally a one-off encounter - although there may be some past history or conflict between members which lead to the attack ... it is generally a relatively isolated incident - a reaction to a specific event (post) rather than an ongoing conflict.
I define bullying as a continued and sustained attack on someone, whether physically, verbally, or emotionally. The key word being "sustained". If someone goes out of their way to pursue another user on the forum, respond to their posts in a hurtful way - in a continued and sustained manner, then that is clearly bullying.
Without knowledge of any prior history between the users in a particular case, it is very difficult to judge whether it is a continuation of a previous encounter, or just an out-of-the-blue reaction to something.
Either way, I don't think Sun Wukong's responses in that thread (which has now been deleted) were appropriate or reasonable in any way. They were overly harsh and completely out of line in my opinion. Whether that constitutes "bullying" or not is difficult to tell - on the surface, I wouldn't generally consider it so - especially if confined to a single thread. An argument or disagreement about something does not generally indicate bullying in my opinion. I will also note that a provoked attack (ie a response to something) is also generally not bullying in my opinion - not that I think this is what happened here.
That being said, there is "bullying" (an act against a single person), and then there are "bullies" (someone who is often more indiscriminant in the focus of their attacks). Again, I feel there is a large grey area between someone who is a bully and someone who is perhaps a little less tolerant of other people and is thus more likely to engage in combative behaviour.
In general I believe that Sun Wukong falls into the category of someone who is highly opinionated (not necessarily a bad thing), and who sometimes suffers from a lack of tolerance of other people's points of view (which can be a bad thing). Mix in a personality who would rather argue a point than walk away - and you have a recipe for conflict.
I have found in general that his posts were of excellent quality and he had a wealth of knowledge - so I put a little bit of intolerance down to just one of those personality traits I mentioned earlier. I have had cause to discipline him in the past - but on the promise that he would behave and avoid conflict, I agreed to reinstate him so the community could benefit from his knowledge and contribution.
My expectation from all members of this site is that they will treat each other with respect. Some of our members may be annoying - we may disagree with their points of view or personal tastes, or we may just dislike their personality or the way they post. But that does not excuse personal attacks of any form. If you don't like someone - just ignore them. If you think they are actually causing problems for the wider forum community (perhaps posting incorrect or misleading information), then report them to the moderation team for action.
So regardless of whether there was "bullying" or whether he is a "bully", Sun Wukong's behaviour was completely unacceptable, and combined with a number of other complaints about attacks on other members in the past has lead me to ban him once again. I regret having to do so because he did add value to the community - but his combative approach and attacks on other members also hurt the community, so I have decided that overall we will be better off without him.
