Gender transition begins tomorrow

[dillotest0]

I recall it has been for all the years of my life that I have had comfort in some aspects of myself, but discomfort in others still.
Some of these discomforts have stayed with me throughout my life.
I have found socialising with girls and women very much interesting, rewarding, and also atuned to my sense of being in a way men and boys just was not.
I recall even for a while I talked with different mannerism than was typical for boys of my age... and somehow listening to how men talk I couldn't think of myself very much growing into that.
And so I have recognised what should've been obvious to me a while ago... gender transition would be beneficial for my sense of self and would be in its support. I have recognised my sense of self is female in some sense... and wish to live existing as such.
And this is what I wish to make known on Christmas Day. It is a day when big things happen; the breakup of the USSR, the launch of the James Webb Telescope, and now this.
I hope you will give me advice and support regarding this.... and take it gracefully.
I know that there may be some people who claim to know all of me without having met me. I pass no judgement of my own to them, but ask that they take the time to understand.
Thank you.

 

[TeaLovingDave]

You've been a member of the forum for nearly 7 years now, but nonetheless tomorrow we all welcome your true self to the forum

 

[Nile Hippo Expert]

I recall it has been for all the years of my life that I have had comfort in some aspects of myself, but discomfort in others still.
Some of these discomforts have stayed with me throughout my life.
I have found socialising with girls and women very much interesting, rewarding, and also atuned to my sense of being in a way men and boys just was not.
I recall even for a while I talked with different mannerism than was typical for boys of my age... and somehow listening to how men talk I couldn't think of myself very much growing into that.
And so I have recognised what should've been obvious to me a while ago... gender transition would be beneficial for my sense of self and would be in its support. I have recognised my sense of self is female in some sense... and wish to live existing as such.
And this is what I wish to make known on Christmas Day. It is a day when big things happen; the breakup of the USSR, the launch of the James Webb Telescope, and now this.
I hope you will give me advice and support regarding this.... and take it gracefully.
I know that there may be some people who claim to know all of me without having met me. I pass no judgement of my own to them, but ask that they take the time to understand.
Thank you.

It is great to see you share your story with us, @dillotest0 it can certainly be a hard topic to talk about, especially in a public environment like ZooChat, where your bravery to be honest with us is just superb! It will be great to see what new things you will do for this forum in the form of your true self!

 

[Mo Hassan]

Congratulations on this news, @dillotest0! I wish you all the best in your transition. While I (mostly) identify as cis-male, the trans community have my full support. If you ever need to talk to a fellow LGBT+-er (or anyone else reading this), I'm here.

 

[Jurek7]

You are fine as you are now! You don't need to change yourself, it is easier to change surroundings to people who are happy with you as you are now.

And be aware that gender stereotype behaviors disappear with age. In a secondary school I also had a male classmate who spend most of the time in girls' company. After a year or two, macho boys actually envied him, because he was much more comfortable and popular with girls. During the studies in a big city, and later at work in e.g. business, there were no longer clear differences between men and women behavior.

But congratulations for being open to talk about it!

 

[dillotest0]

You are fine as you are now! You don't need to change yourself, it is easier to change surroundings to people who are happy with you as you are now.

And be aware that gender stereotype behaviors disappear with age. In a secondary school I also had a male classmate who spend most of the time in girls' company. After a year or two, macho boys actually envied him, because he was much more comfortable and popular with girls. During the studies in a big city, and later at work in e.g. business, there were no longer clear differences between men and women behavior.

But congratulations for being open to talk about it!

This is something I have done for no-one but myself.
The people in my surroundings are fine with myself as I was, but I always had problems with how I existed.
If I wanted to change myself to appease others, I would've done something else.

 

[AnActualFan]

Congrats, and I hope the transition goes smoothly!

 

[Jurek7]

The people in my surroundings are fine with myself as I was, but I always had problems with how I existed.

Congratulations for having such tolerant people around you!

So others are fine that you are a man not conforming to stereotypes, but you want to fit into something which others don't believe and are happy with you not fitting?

Never be less kind to yourself than others are to you! If others are fine with who you are now, you are OK.

With me it was maybe easier because my parents took me to a psychologist when I was a very small child and I grew up knowing I am different and it is OK. My friends played soccer, I read books and watched lizards. Later I learned that growing up is not only about changing yourself, but accepting who you are and finding a way to use it. So I made some allowances to live comfortably in the society and not harm others. Later still I learned that there are many societies and groups within societies, and it is impossible to fit to all. Otherwise I still watch lizards and I am happy about it.

 

[TeaLovingDave]

Congratulations for having such tolerant people around you!

So you are a man not conforming to gender stereotypes, others are fine that you are a man not conforming to gender stereotypes, but you believe in gender stereotypes yourself and want to fit into something which others don't believe and are happy with you not fitting?

Never be less kind to yourself than others are to you! If others are fine with who you are now, you are OK.

It's only a pity that one person in this thread is intolerant enough to repeatedly claim to know @dillotest0 better - on the basis of little to no interaction with them on the forum - than a lifetime of being dillotest0 has provided.

You don't have to understand trans or non-binary people - or indeed LGBTQ people in general.

You don't even need to accept them as long as you keep your opinions to yourself.

But what you do have to do, is to have the politeness to refrain from making your intolerance clear in the very thread where they have reached out for support and acceptance - even if you couch it in falsely-sincere words of "kindness" - and doubling down when they object.

A reminder of the forum rules:



In short - stop it.

 

[Wisp O' Mist]

So you are a man not conforming to gender stereotypes, others are fine that you are a man not conforming to gender stereotypes, but you believe in gender stereotypes yourself and want to fit into something which others don't believe and are happy with you not fitting?

I'm not transgender myself, but my understanding of it suggests that transiting isn't about conforming to gender roles, but rather aligning the body to the mind.

 

[lintworm]

I recall it has been for all the years of my life that I have had comfort in some aspects of myself, but discomfort in others still.
Some of these discomforts have stayed with me throughout my life.
I have found socialising with girls and women very much interesting, rewarding, and also atuned to my sense of being in a way men and boys just was not.
I recall even for a while I talked with different mannerism than was typical for boys of my age... and somehow listening to how men talk I couldn't think of myself very much growing into that.
And so I have recognised what should've been obvious to me a while ago... gender transition would be beneficial for my sense of self and would be in its support. I have recognised my sense of self is female in some sense... and wish to live existing as such.
And this is what I wish to make known on Christmas Day. It is a day when big things happen; the breakup of the USSR, the launch of the James Webb Telescope, and now this.
I hope you will give me advice and support regarding this.... and take it gracefully.
I know that there may be some people who claim to know all of me without having met me. I pass no judgement of my own to them, but ask that they take the time to understand.
Thank you.

Good luck with the transition and thumbs up for having the courage to share the news with a bunch of online strangers. I hope you have all the support from your loved ones for the rocky road ahead. But being happy with yourself is a prerequisite with being happy in general, so I sincerely hope it works out. The zoo community is full of LHBTQ+ people and birds-of-paradise, so feel welcome!

 

[Lafone]

Also wishing you the best of fortune with the transition. It’s good to see people stepping into who they are. There will no doubt be some challenges along the way but do remember to be kind to yourself and look forward to happy times.

 

[Panda_Fan]

Happy that you're making the decision you want and I applaud you for having the strength to talk about it in public. I've known a lot of people that normally don't openly talk about this topic in public because it's difficult for them, but happy that you're open to the zoochat comunity and showing us what is an essential part of your life. Unrelated, but it's very nice (to me at least) that you've done your gender-transition on christmas. A happy moment for a happy day!

So I made some allowances to live comfortably in the society and not harm others.

@Jurek7 please don't say this on a public site. It's not helthy for a person to think that being yourself can harm others. There's people that might live with guiltiness by thinking that they are harming loved ones or anyone when it's not true. And you shouldn't make any changes to yourself just to live comfortably in society. Living unhappy just because the pressure of not being comfortable in society isn't a god thing, and that's why we congratulate people that do decide to make the decision, because it's hard to do. Maybe I didn't understand the sentence correctly, but I don't think so and sorry if I offended anyone. Feel free to correct me.

 

[Dr. Wolverine]

Congratulations @dillotest0!! I applaud your bravery in sharing this on a public site, and I hope all goes well! Just know that you have my support, and so does the rest of the LGBTQ+ community!