the worst feeling i get in the world is when you are standing there watching some giraffes and you start babbling on about how they are the only mammal born with horns or something equally as trivial and then wondering why you have heard no reply you turn to look at your girlfriend only to find she is no longer beside you and instead she has walked away, slumped herself on a post and is giving you that "why the @#$% have your dragged me to yet another &*%$ing zoo and why the $#@* do you think i give a damn about giraffe horns!!"
and you realise that you really should have said yes when she suggested the gallery when you lay in bed that morning.
methods to not let zoos take over your life...
a) whenever you catch yourself daydreaming about winning tattslotto and building a zoo, switch to something else. its wasted thinking time. you'll have this one for the rest of your life and will still be phasing out animals and phasing others in. besides its never, ever, ever going to happen. i personally find thinking about sex to be the best substitute just becuse that can quickly become more interesting to me than animals, but whatever floats you boat guess (just don't start blurring the lines between the two).
b) learn to visit the zoo by yourself. as someone with a morbid fear of doing public activities alone (i have never seen a movie by myself or eaten out on my own) i have come up with a good solution. i take a sketch pad and use the whole "drawing animals' as an excuse for being there. makes me feel professional, not like a dork sneaking in a zootrip that nobody knows about.
c) keep you zoo-obsession somewhat to yourself. don't blabber at everyone about squirrel monkeys. nobody cares about them. in actual fact on the average persons list of everything in order of interest zoos arn't even close to being in the "very interested" bracket. potential female love-interests generally would rather you engage them in a conversation about deconstructing their dream last night and you mum's just thinking "this kid has been talking about *&%&ing elephants for years....shut up!!" and nodding as if she's listening.
d) and lastly, keep posting on the forum. its about the best outlet you've got. (just delete the history so nobody knows your secret shame - or you lameo cyber-name if your lame enough to have one).....
