Movie review rant 2013

Status
Not open for further replies.
I know Seagal is really fat now, but I am sure he will get in shape. Maybe he can be a baddie like Jabba the Hutt.
(An older quote, relating to Expendables 3, which connects nicely I think to the following recent clip of Seagal in Chechnya:
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Your review of Fast 6 is a perfect example of how not to approach any of the movies in the franchise. You need to ensure temporary brain paralysis for two hours to really enjoy the movies.

I can't wait for part 7. :D
 
Pacific Rim

When approaching a movie like Pacific Rim, one would think that a movie revolving around robots fighting monsters has the potential to be awful. However, this movie's direction by Guillermo del Toro is fantastic and the acting by Charlie Day from It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia makes for a lighthearted apocalypse movie that I was thoroughly engaged in throughout the entire two hours. Not since The Avengers have I seen a movie that spectacular!!!
 
Gah wish I hadn't read the above stuff about Fast and Furious 6 as I haven't seen it and now I've seen spoilers! Ah well.

Did anyone see The Mortal Instruments - City of Bones? The critics didn't exactly give it good reviews but I loved it! Not sure if it's a very manly film :P but I'm now reading the books which are better than the film! There's a lot of action in it and many people have said there's too much CGI but a film containing demons and vampires and stuff kind of has to have CGI!
 
Gah wish I hadn't read the above stuff about Fast and Furious 6 as I haven't seen it and now I've seen spoilers! Ah well.

Did anyone see The Mortal Instruments - City of Bones? The critics didn't exactly give it good reviews but I loved it! Not sure if it's a very manly film :P but I'm now reading the books which are better than the film! There's a lot of action in it and many people have said there's too much CGI but a film containing demons and vampires and stuff kind of has to have CGI!

They could use actors dressed in costumes. :D
 
I haven't been able to find the time to write reviews recently, so in this post, I aim to review the movies I have seen, Twitter style! In 140 characters or less you will get the low-down on a few movies I have seen in the last few months.

Oblivion - Love the concept of cloning Tom Cruise though not a fan of poorly cloning and updating 'The Matrix'. Watch for free if on TV.

The Croods - Poor excuse for a children's movie and definitely not witty enough for adults. Movie wasn't clear if it was a different planet or parallel universe. Avoid!

Warm Bodies - Take a standard zombie flick, add a dash of romance, a dollop of humour, and a splash of action and you have 2hrs of great entertainment. Must watch!

This Is The End - Senseless, unfunny movie about the apocalypse. What happened to Hermione in the end? Burn all copies of this movie.

Trance - Fantastic movie if you like The Matrix and Inception, and enjoy wondering "what is real?". Great story, twists and turns, outstanding acting. Must watch.

Now You See Me - Clever flick for anyone who likes magic, sleight of hand, and Danny Ocean. Rent on DVD.

Wuxia - Why didn't I watch this a few years ago? CSI meets Hero. Must watch for fans of the wuxia genre.

Solomon Kane - Never heard of this 6/10 movie until seeing it. Cross between Pirates of the Caribbean and Spawn. Buy the DVD in the bargain bin.

World War Z - Love Brad Pitt, don't love amalgamating Contagion with The Walking Dead. Rent it.

Monsters University - Loved it! Great prequel to Monsters Inc. If you loved the first, you'll love the second. BluRay.

The Great and Powerful Oz - Not too sure what it was about - think I fell asleep.
 
Oblivion - Love the concept of cloning Tom Cruise though not a fan of poorly cloning and updating 'The Matrix'. Watch for free if on TV.

The Croods - Poor excuse for a children's movie and definitely not witty enough for adults. Movie wasn't clear if it was a different planet or parallel universe. Avoid!

This Is The End - Senseless, unfunny movie about the apocalypse. What happened to Hermione in the end? Burn all copies of this movie.

Monsters University - Loved it! Great prequel to Monsters Inc. If you loved the first, you'll love the second. BluRay.

The Great and Powerful Oz - Not too sure what it was about - think I fell asleep.

Ok, I've seen all these, but I'm gunna disagree with most of your opinions:

-Oblivion: Lame
-The Croods: Great film, lots of cool stuff and amusing jokes, not sure if clarification of alternate planet/parallel universe is a fair negative, what kids movie ever does???
-Monster's University: Not a bad film, although not as good as the original. I wouldn't recommend it to adults. Certainly can't be compared to the recent Toy Story for example.
-This Is The End: Funny movie, some great stuff in there.
-Oz the Great and Powerful: Great film, bought the DVD, very well done.

Will watch Warm Bodies and Now You See Me at some stage, they sound pretty good really.

I saw RED 2 last night. really enjoyed that, recommend it to all. Saw something else recently too, but for the life of me I can't remember what it was!
 
I saw "Oblivion" recently but I can't for the life of me remember where. It must have been on a plane I guess.

I liked it I suppose. It had Olga Kurylenko in it, so I didn't have a choice. But yeah, a bit of a flat movie.
 
I saw RED 2 last night. really enjoyed that, recommend it to all. Saw something else recently too, but for the life of me I can't remember what it was!

I remembered it, it was R.I.P.D. which was a rather amusing and light action-comedy. With Ryan Reynolds and other people.
 
Oblivion copied the black Morpheus with the protagonist reflecting off his sunglasses while he explained the truth to him. Pretty lame movie and unfortunately I went to the cinema to see it. (Need a reminder on the cost of a trip to the cinema in Melbourne?)
 
Oblivion was OK, but I won't be seeing it again in a hurry.

Elysium was OK too. Despite being Sci-fi, it didn't really grab me either.

Star Trek - Into Darkness. I enjoy anything Trek, and I found this entertaining. I can't say I loved it, but I did really enjoy it.

RED 2 was great, can't wait till it comes out on DVD.

White House Down I really enjoyed too, although some people I heard said they didn't like it.

In a similar vein, I really enjoyed Olympus Has Fallen - so much that I saw it again a week later.

We're the Millers was better than I thought it would be, despite some silly parts.

This is the End - self-indulgent crap. Absolute crap. The only thing I found remotely interesting was Emma Watson wielding an axe. But that only lasted a minute or so. The only thing worse than this was Springbreakers.

Journey's End - this possibly suffered by being released at the same time as "This is the End" and having a similar name. This movie, however, was infinitely more entertaining and quite funny.

Man of Steel - the first part of the movie was quite good and had potential. The second half was mostly CGI destruction of a city, and the battle went on and on and on and on ........ And just when you think it's over and Superman has one, the battle goes on some more.

The Lone Ranger - copped a lot of criticism but I really liked it and thought it was quite funny. A tad long, but I really enjoyed it.

The Heat - although this movie follows a tried and true formula, and has several clichés, I found it very entertaining. Maybe I just like Bullock, but I found it very funny.

Gravity was just brilliant - two actors and five voices. Lots and lots of suspense. Loved it. See it in 3D.

:p

Hix
 
Last edited:
Oblivion was OK, but I won't be seeing it again in a hurry.

Elysium was OK too. Despite being Sci-fi, it didn't really grab me either.

Star Trek - Into Darkness. I enjoy anything Trek, and I found this entertaining. I can't say I loved it, but I did really enjoy it.

RED 2 was great, can't wait till it comes out on DVD.

White House Down I really enjoyed too, although some people I heard said they didn't like it.

In a similar vein, I really enjoyed Olympus Has Fallen - so much that I saw it again a week later.

We're the Millers was better than I thought it would be, despite some silly parts.

This is the End - self-indulgent crap. Absolute crap. The only thing I found remotely interesting was Emma Watson wielding an axe. But that only lasted a minute or so. The only thing worse than this was Springbreakers.

Journey's End - this possibly suffered by being released at the same time as "This is the End" and having a similar name. This movie, however, was infinitely more entertaining and quite funny.

Man of Steel - the first part of the movie was quite good and had potential. The second half was mostly CGI destruction of a city, and the battle went on and on and on and on ........ And just when you think it's over and Superman has one, the battle goes on some more.

The Lone Ranger - copped a lot of criticism but I really liked it and thought it was quite funny. A tad long, but I really enjoyed it.

The Heat - although this movie follows a tried and true formula, and has several clichés, I found it very entertaining. Maybe I just like Bullock, but I found it very funny.

Gravity was just brilliant - two actors and five voices. Lots and lots of suspense. Loved it. See it in 3D.

:p

Hix


How long does it take to fly to Uganda? These all seem like the type of movies they'd be playing on planes right about now.
 
How long does it take to fly to Uganda? These all seem like the type of movies they'd be playing on planes right about now.

LOL!

14 Hours to Dubai, then 5 hours to Entebbe.

Of the above only Oblivion and Star Trek were showing. I watched Star Trek, but other movies titled The Expatriate, Parker, Bullet in the Head, Fire With Fire, Snitch, The Croods, and a couple of other things I've forgotten.

All the movies I listed in the previous post I saw at the cinema recently. Gravity was seen last week, and I've just returned from seeing:

2 Guns - Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg are good in this drug movie with twists and turns that keep you guessing right til the end. Lots of action and gunplay.

:p

Hix
 
I'm so bad at sleeping on planes (and cars, trains etc.) that I have no choice but to sit comatose through every movie they have on offer.

Also, I went to see an excellent movie yesterday at a preview screening. About Time doesn't come out until about November i think but one of my friends knows me too well and bought the tickets without even telling me. If you like Love Actually then you'll absolutely adore this, if you didn't like Love Actually then you should steer clear.
 
I'm so bad at sleeping on planes (and cars, trains etc.) that I have no choice but to sit comatose through every movie they have on offer.

Also, I went to see an excellent movie yesterday at a preview screening. About Time doesn't come out until about November i think but one of my friends knows me too well and bought the tickets without even telling me. If you like Love Actually then you'll absolutely adore this, if you didn't like Love Actually then you should steer clear.

I won't even watch it on free to air TV IN 2015 then. :p
 
I remember a couple of other movies seen on the plane: Skyfall and The Internship.

Was going to see About Time last night but got distracted and missed out.

The Family - Robert de Niro is playing a former mafia don in witness protection after ratting on everyone else. Another don has put out a hit on him from within jail. Michelle Pfeiffer plays his wife and Tommy Lee Jones is the FBI agent charged with keeping deNiro's character (and his wife and two kids) alive.

This is not a comedy, although it is slightly amusing in parts. Do not go if you are expecting laughs, or if you don't like violence (because there is plenty of the latter, from every member of the family).

I enjoyed it, but unless you really like Mafia movies, or you have a thing for de Niro, Jones or Pfeiffer, wait for the DVD. It's not bad, but there won't be a lot of difference seeing it on a big or small screen.

:p

Hix
 
About Time - a quirky little British movie, a chick flick, but still an entertaining couple of hours, especially if you like the idea of limited time travel. Bill Nighy is great I this as the father of the lead actor. Rachel McAdams is adorable, as always.


Prisoners - this is a drama about two small girls who disappear, and the actions of the parents and the police to find them. Hugh Jackman is brilliant as the distraught father who will go to any lengths to find his daughter. He should get a nod at the Academy next year for this movie, I reckon. I haven't worked out yet if Jake Gyllenhall was just acting badly or if the character was written that way.

A dark emotional drama, an interesting storyline, with no laughs whatsoever.



Captain Phillips - based on a true story, this is movie recounts the hijacking of a cargo ship and subsequent kidnapping of it's captain by Somali pirates, and his eventual rescue. A gripping story and a great movie.


Upcoming trailers that look interesting - The Counsellor, The Butler, Las Vegas, August: Osage County, and the true story One Chance.

:p

hix
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top