What is the best excuse to explain the tuna stain on the sofa to your spouse?

[DavidBrown]

NOTE: The situation described below is completely hypothetical and has no relation to anything that happened in real life. I repeat: NOTHING TO DO WITH REAL LIFE.

Or does it?

Imagine that you've made yourself a nice tuna salad sandwich and settle down on the sofa to enjoy an episode of "Daredevil" or "The West Wing" or something. You look down on the sofa and notice that some of the tuna salad sandwich has rudely fallen out of your sandwich and stained the sofa.

Imagine that you have no children and cannot blame them when your spouse asks why the sofa has a stain that smells like tuna.

What is the best possible excuse to escape from this situation with minimal blame, scandal, and unpleasantness?

 

[ThylacineAlive]

Ninjas broke into your house and tried to kidnap the sandwich. To defend your honor, you had to fight them off but, despite your best efforts, the sandwich was killed by a throwing star in the fight. The stain is now a constant reminder of your failure and the smell if the spirit of the sandwich haunting you for all eternity.

~Thylo

 

[Chlidonias]

"it's actually a dolphin stain"

 

[FunkyGibbon]

Spinach dip?

 

[jwer]

The hypothetical person that had this happen is in a right pickle. I'm afraid this calls for the ultimate solution

He'll have to let her buy new shoes.

If that doesn't work, it was nice knowing ......... the poor fella this happened to.

 

[Chlidonias]

I don't see why the person doesn't just cover the sofa fully in tuna. That way there's no stain any more.

 

[Hix]

You can't just turn the cushion over? That's what I do.



Hix