Worst Movies

Chlidonias

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OK seeing there are all these threads for favourite tv shows, favourite movies, etc, here's my alternative thread about the worst movies you've seen. Off the top of my head (in no particular order)....

1) "Batman And Robin" - you know you're in trouble with a movie when Arnold Schwarzenegger provides the best acting in it!

2) "The Phantom Menace" - George Lucas pulls down his pants and empties his bowels all over our childhood. The sad thing is that the younger generation who didn't grow up with the original three Star Wars movies think that THIS is the best of the lot!!

3) "Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull" - as if destroying Star Wars wasn't enough, Lucas and Spielberg join forces to turn this classic trilogy into a joke. Amazingly they spent something like ten years coming up with the plotline for this rubbish. Even more amazingly, Harrison Ford recently said he wants to do a fifth Indiana Jones movie! Has he not heard that adage about not returning to the scene of a crime?

4) "North Country" - what you get when writing a movie by numbers. Its all there, from the rebellious teen to the best friend dying from the latest "in" disease. Also the sort of movie that the target audience (ie women) thinks is a brilliant movie simply due to the subject matter. I've said it before and I'll say it again, movie audiences are ******. The girl I saw it with said it was so powerful: the only thing powerful about it was the urge it gave me to retch.

5) "King Kong" - Peter Jackson loses it after the fantastic "Lord Of The Rings" trilogy. The dinosaur stampede is one of the stupidest things ever put to the silver screen. A good example of why classic movies should NOT be remade by a rabid fan with too much money at his disposal.

6) "G.I. Joe" - I was forced to see this on my birthday in Borneo, by a girl I'd met there. Two hours of my life I will never get back.

7) "Double Team" - Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dennis Rodman - need I say more? Easily the worst Van Damme movie ever, and I'm including his directorial attempt "The Quest" in that. Dennis Rodman went on to star in the very worst action movie in the history of all movie-making, "Simon Sez"

8) "Titanic" - a overblown turgid film wallowing in its own pomposity, somehow beloved by all and which made James Cameron 'King of the World'. He followed it up a bit later with a similarly overblown turgid film wallowing in its own pomposity, "Avatar"

9) "Terminator Salvation" - the first two Terminators were classics of their genre (see, I don't hate all James Cameron movies!), the third...well, not so much. The fourth installment really just sunk the series entirely. But what can you expect if you pass the helm over to a nerdy white guy with a try-hard rapper name, McG, whose previous credits include television's "Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search For the Next Doll" and "Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious"?

10) "Transformers" and "Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen" - seriously, how does Michael Bay keep making movies??!! At least James Cameron has done some good ones!

11) "Lost In Space" - I really can't work out if Matt Le Blanc is deliberately playing his role in this the way Joey from "Friends" would, or if he actually is that bad of an actor....

12) "10,000 BC" - know anything about Palaeontology, Archaeology, any of the -ologies at all? Enough said.
 
I can't remember exactley what it's called but it could have been Black Sheep. It's a New Zealand movie about mutant sheep eating everybody. That would have to be my least favorite I can think of right now and G.I, Joe was really bad but my little brother really liked it so maybe I'm just too old.
 
It was ridiculously funny, especially that goat, but we got it out looking for something seriously scary. . .

I love that after all that she get sucked into hell anyway.
 
"Black Sheep" was a great movie! In the same vein as "Braindead", another little New Zealand gem.

I'm generally tolerant of average and mediocre films, unless they appear contrived or just plain insulting to the intelligence. However, I found "Trainspotting" boring. And "I am Legend" was crap - after all the hype, it was just another bloody zombie movie, and not a good one at that.

"Casino Royale" - the original 1967 version with David Niven, was meant to be a comedy, but it was just so stupid. It had a brilliant cast of big names who didn't know when they signed the contracts they were making a comedy. The only other good thing about it (besides the cast) was the theme, by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass.

Going back many more years, I found "Glen or Glenda" - by Ed Wood Jnr - so bad it was just painful.

But the worst movie I ever saw, regarded by many as the worst ever made, was "Salo", an Italian piece of rubbish with less plot than the average *****. Lots of ugly naked people, and some disgusting acts of debauchery. Very weird.

I know there were other really bad ones, I've just forgotten them.

Hix
 
What about this turkey, a werewolf film featuring thylacines!
Howling III (1987)

There is a film called The Room which is so famously bad that there are special screenings where "fans" go along to join in/mock it. I downloaded it to watch it "ironically" but in fact it really is so awful I couldn't manage more than 15 minutes.
 
I'd agree with "Black sheep", although it was so bad that I found it good in a weird way lol. I saw one terrible film on TV a while back, I think it was called "Grizzly rage", where a group of kids run over a grizzly cub and it's mother finds them and kills them off one by one... Seriously bad!
I also think the recent "Twilight" films are over rated and seriously boring.
 
Have to agree that many of those mentioned above are truly awful movies, especially the ones that you really wanted to see because you really liked earlier installments (Star Wars, Terminator). The Alien series should be added to this list (Alien & Aliens superb, Alien 3 & 4-whatever it was called just stupid). Both the later Alien installments and the Star Wars prequels could have been brilliant without too much being different. Alien let down by poor scripts (god, they had so much material to work with.....:rolleyes:) and Star Wars by the same (even though the story was largely already there) and far too much CG.

Having said all of that, my all time worst movie is 'Night at the Museum' (and not only because of the 'African' capuchin monkey!). God awful tripe. Can't beleive they actually made a sequel (which I will never see!).
 
A lot of attempted sequels I could name: The first two Star Wars prequels, Jurassic Park III, Golden Eye, Shrek the Third, etc. Indy 4 was mixed in my opinion, and the King Kong remake is actually in my top five films. Then there are a load of cheap b-movies.
 
C'mon the phantom menace isn't that bad, not great but not one of the worst films ever made, but I'm a hardcore star wars fan and am soooo looking forward to them being converted into 3D in the not do distant future.

Worst films of all time right

1 Perfect world, Kevin Costner and laura dern, sooooo during

2 Reality bites an terrible film with winona ryder and co in it

3 Jaws 4 Nuff said

4 anything with lyndsey lohan in it

5 I am legend, 28 days later was based on same story and much better

6 Where the Wild Things Are, 12 page kids book padded out over 2 hours, good effects lousy story, bum numbingly boring

7 Anchor man, not many of Will Ferrels films do anything for me

8 Tropic Thunder, woeful!

9 All of Eddie Murphys recent films like Norbert, with the exception of Dream Girls

10 Rollerball

11 All of Elvis Presleys films with the expetions of love me tender, king creole and Flaming star

12 Tom Hanks's remake of the Ladykillers!!

13 300

14 Gummo, which I checked out after it was featured on heavily on Harry Hills tv Burp, following and x factor movie night.

15 Inglorius B*saterds sorry Quinten whilst it had its moments, this was crap, brad pit doing bad fart acting, and history being re-written

16 Natural Born killers, how could I have forgotten this pile of monkey spank!!!!

Going to have to and think about this as thats just the tip of the iceberg
 
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PAT said:
I can't remember exactley what it's called but it could have been Black Sheep. It's a New Zealand movie about mutant sheep eating everybody. That would have to be my least favorite I can think of right now
I've only seen the first ten minutes or so of "Black Sheep". There are some excellent NZ movies (eg, "Once Were Warriors" is a good example of a fairly recent one, but there are far more good ones from the 70s and early 80s like "Utu", "Smash Palace" and "The Quiet Earth" - funnily enough those last three all starred Bruno Lawrence) but on the whole most NZ movies are plagued by awful production values and even worse acting. Half of them come across as being made by film students who have never made a movie before in their lives. One big problem for NZ viewers is that pretty much all actors in NZ cut their teeth in local soap "Shortland Street" where they become long-running characters before moving on to film, so you'll be watching "Lord Of The Rings" for example and up pops Lionel from the coffee shop! Honestly, when Craig Parker, who played Guy Warner in "Shortland Street", got an axe through the head in "The Two Towers" everyone in the theatre cheered. I still can't bear watching anything with that insufferable git Martin Henderson in it.

Hix said:
"I am Legend" was crap - after all the hype, it was just another bloody zombie movie, and not a good one at that.
I thought it was somewhat ironic that they kept the title of the book but removed the reason for the title from the plot! I didn't think the movie was all that bad myself, more that it suffered from when it was released, long after a whole slew of other zombie movies so it came across as being a rip-off more than anything else.

Ash said:
I saw one terrible film on TV a while back, I think it was called "Grizzly rage", where a group of kids run over a grizzly cub and it's mother finds them and kills them off one by one... Seriously bad!
Those animal attack movies are great (in a very very bad way :)). Check out youtube for clips from such wonders as "Komodo", "Komodo vs Cobra", "Razorback", "Megalodon", and best of all "Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus".......

Newzooboy said:
Have to agree that many of those mentioned above are truly awful movies, especially the ones that you really wanted to see because you really liked earlier installments (Star Wars, Terminator). The Alien series should be added to this list (Alien & Aliens superb, Alien 3 & 4-whatever it was called just stupid). Both the later Alien installments and the Star Wars prequels could have been brilliant without too much being different. Alien let down by poor scripts (god, they had so much material to work with.....) and Star Wars by the same (even though the story was largely already there) and far too much CG.
totally agree. I only left the Alien and Predator ones off because I'd already put a bunch of sequels on the list :)
I thought the original "Alien" was a tad predictable, I preferred "Aliens" more (oh look, another James Cameron movie I like!). After that they started going downhill fast. I liked the first "Predator" (one of the best Arnold movies), the second one not nearly as much. "Alien vs Predator" was pretty bad but actually much better than any crossover monster movie has any right to be, while "Aliens vs Predator: Requiem" was not only reprehensibly bad but also had a nonsensical title.

easytigger said:
C'mon the phantom menace isn't that bad, not great but not one of the worst films ever made, but I'm a hardcore star wars fan and am soooo looking forward to them being converted into 3D in the not do distant future.
have you seen the great parody "The Simpsons" did of this? Awesome
 
Those animal attack movies are great (in a very very bad way :)). Check out youtube for clips from such wonders as "Komodo", "Komodo vs Cobra", "Razorback", "Megalodon", and best of all "Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus"......

Oh they are great in a terrible way, I love them lol. I was going to say about "mega shark Vs giant octopus" but haven't seen it. I imagine it's awesome, just like "Snakes on a plane" is (apparently :p)
 
HuxleyPig said:
I'm not big on Star Wars, so I may be wrong, but.. wasn't that Family Guy?
Family Guy did a parody version of the original Star Wars movie (the whole thing) and called it "Blue Harvest". The Simpsons did a parody of The Phantom Menace as part of the plot of one episode and the characters then met the movie's creator (a version of George Lucas) who was a dwarf and rode off on a tauntaun
 
Avatar was complete foolishness! Extremely pointless and childish

"Saw" is just disgusting, nothing suspensful or scary, just gross...

Transformer's is absolute crap, trying to turn a babyish... inmature show into some action film is just not flying well
 
Family Guy did a parody version of the original Star Wars movie (the whole thing) and called it "Blue Harvest". The Simpsons did a parody of The Phantom Menace as part of the plot of one episode and the characters then met the movie's creator (a version of George Lucas) who was a dwarf and rode off on a tauntaun

The name 'Blue Harvest' was originally the working title used for Return of the Jedi during filming on location in Yuma & California - to try and keep the press from spoiler photos. Didn't work that well, who else had the money to build a full scale sail barge in the middle of the desert!
 
"Anaconda", and the worse sequel, "Anacondas: Hunt for the Blood Orchid".

Absolute crap.

:p

Hix
 
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