Worst Movies

Sure, I'll play...

...but I think the thread would be better titled "Movies I can't stand." I say this because you'd get some pretty strong disagreement from me about some of what's been listed.

With that said -- Here's my personal list of stinkers.

"The Golden Compass" -- They already had the near-perfect screenplay in the form of the original book, but nooooo... they just had to dumb it down and shorten it up, completely wrecking it in the process! C'mon, if people are willing to sit through two-hours-forty of 'Avatar,' making 'Golden Compass' stay faithful to the book (and padding it out as needed) wouldn't have been any issue at all.

"Where the Wild Things Are" -- Hideous. Poorly written, tedious, dragged in so many places it would have left ruts in pressure-treated concrete. Maurice Sendak should sue.

"Eragon" -- It's obvious where 95% of the movie's budget went in this one: To the CGI that made Safira look absolutely magnificent! Unfortunately, that wasn't enough to save this disaster which, once again, had the near-perfect screenplay already written but didn't care to stay faithful to it.

There are more, but I need to go get some errands done. Catch up to you later.
 
kc7gr said:
"Where the Wild Things Are" -- Hideous. Poorly written, tedious, dragged in so many places it would have left ruts in pressure-treated concrete. Maurice Sendak should sue.
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Far from sueing them, he was one of the producers of this woeful film, obviously the royalty cheque was more important to him then the story itself.
What was all that crap with bob and terry the owls about, two many moral stories being rammed into it, its only saving grace is that the kid who played Max may have has a very bright future ahead of him.
 
Hix said:
"Anaconda", and the worse sequel, "Anacondas: Hunt for the Blood Orchid".

Absolute crap.

:p

Hix
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agreed , the only thing i enjoyed about the film was Jennifer Lopez squeezed into very tight fitting clothing
 
funny, the only thing I enjoyed in that movie was Jennifer Lopez dying!
 
easytigger said:
Far from sueing them, he was one of the producers of this woeful film, obviously the royalty cheque was more important to him then the story itself.
What was all that crap with bob and terry the owls about, two many moral stories being rammed into it, its only saving grace is that the kid who played Max may have has a very bright future ahead of him.
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:gag!: I knew he was involved, but I had no idea he was actually one of the producers. That actually explains quite a bit, seeing as how he's had NO movie production experience whatsoever (that I know of).

On a more personal level, I absolutely loathed that bit with the pseudo-owls. Show me a bird in its right mind which "loves" being knocked out of the sky in mid-flight, and I'll show you a competent and compassionate falconer at the Greater Vancouver Zoo!

Anyway... I thought up a few others while I was out running around.

"Murder on the Orient Express:" I was forced to go along to this yawner in my teens, as a result of a group decision by the ruling adults of the ranch school I was at back then. I think they were trying to impart some "culture" to us kids. Fell asleep about a quarter of the way through. The only thing about it I clearly remember was this dour-looking woman being asked if she ever smiled, and replying "My doctor has advised against it!" in a most snooty tone.

"Starship Troopers:" I'm glad Heinlein's estate didn't turn over any of his other works to make movies out of, because this one was absolutely horrendous. Barely any story, and what little there was seemed dependent on the shock value from the various mutilations and dismemberment to get through it all. I can't believe that atrocity actually spawned any sequels, let alone an animated series. What a waste...

Side note: What I'd love to see, along those lines, are true-to-the-book movie versions of "Starman Jones," "Between Planets," "Red Planet," and "Have Space Suit, Will Travel." Unfortunately, today's Hollywood seems much more interested in dumbed-down formula than well-written stories.

Slasher movies in general ('Saw' series, Friday the 13th, etc.): I get enough blood-and-gore from feeding the birds I work with, thank you very much. What I don't need is Hollywood's resources wasted on such atrocities. These days, I won't typically watch any movie with a rating stronger than 'PG-13,' because they all seem to be the same formula once you get down around the letter 'R.'

"Alvin and the Chipmunks" (first movie): Had loads of potential, paid decent homage to the original series, BUT -- Fell completely flat at the end. Earlier on in the movie, you had this great scene of the critters indulging in high-speed driving video games of some sort (NASCAR or something similar). I fully expected this to be a lead-in to a fun and (hopefully) very messy chase scene along near the end, where they got out of their cage but were still inside a car. I could just picture the lot of them, working as a threesome, driving that thing just like they did in the game!

Unfortunately, it was not to be. Not sure what happened (maybe the producers ran out of funds?), but the thing simply went flat at the end.

Oddly enough, the second movie (the 'squeakquel') was (I think) much better than the first. Had decent development of the story, at least.

For the record: I disagree with the bad comments on "The Phantom Menace." From the moment it started, I realized this was a movie which was best not taken seriously. In fact, seeing it while one has a bit of alcohol in their system is very helpful. In short, it was a fun flick but it was one I would view as a side story to the series, rather than an integral part.

"Shrek the Third," though: Spot on! Terrible effort. #1 and #2 were the best, and they should have left it at that.

That's it for now. Gotta go stick some leftovers in the 'fridge. Happy travels.
 
Blackduiker

Leprechaun
Lost In Space
Congo
Sphere

Just those four alone are enough for anyone to demand their money back!
:(:eek::mad:
 
Ah! There's another one I would disagree on. I found the 'Lost in Space' movie to be thoroughly enjoyable, especially with the appearance of a full-grown Bill Mumy.

Then again, I saw the original series as a kid. Perhaps that's the thing... You'd have to have seen the original series for the new movie to make sense?

I would add that I've found pretty much all the James Bond flicks to be greatly entertaining mind-fluff. So far, there's only been six I didn't like: "A View to a Kill," "License to Kill," the original "Casino Royale," the remake of "Casino Royale," "On Her Majesty's Secret Service," and "Quantum of Solace."

Who makes the best Bond? Sean Connery, hands-down (although Pierce Brosnan didn't do badly in his brief stint).

No argument on 'Leprechaun,' though. Or 'Congo.' And I deeply regret actually having spent money to see 'Sphere' in the theaters.

I am curious about something. How many of you have actually gone to see a movie, gotten into the theater, had the film start -- and then literally walk out and ask for a refund before the thing is over?

That's happened to me only three times in my life. The movies involved were "Short Circuit 2," "Speed Racer," and (you guessed it) "Sphere." None of them lasted more than 40 minutes or so before I gave up.

Oh, and the third 'Matrix' film was absolutely revolting (at least to me).

Happy travels.
 
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Chlidonias said:
funny, the only thing I enjoyed in that movie was Jennifer Lopez dying!
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I was actually asked by an usher to stop laughing because it was disturbing the other patrons.

"The Phantom Menace" would have been a much better movie without Jar-Jar Binks.

And "Contact" with Jodie Foster. Rubbish.
 
another one is 2008's "Doomsday", filmed in the UK, sort of a mash-up between "28 Days Later" and "Mad Max". Really really bad. The sort of movie you just have to keep watching to see how much worse it can get!
 
Blackduiker

kc7gr said:
Ah! There's another one I would disagree on. I found the 'Lost in Space' movie to be thoroughly enjoyable, especially with the appearance of a full-grown Bill Mumy.

Then again, I saw the original series as a kid. Perhaps that's the thing... You'd have to have seen the original series for the new movie to make sense?

I would add that I've found pretty much all the James Bond flicks to be greatly entertaining mind-fluff. So far, there's only been six I didn't like: "A View to a Kill," "License to Kill," the original "Casino Royale," the remake of "Casino Royale," "On Her Majesty's Secret Service," and "Quantum of Solace."

Who makes the best Bond? Sean Connery, hands-down (although Pierce Brosnan didn't do badly in his brief stint).

No argument on 'Leprechaun,' though. Or 'Congo.' And I deeply regret actually having spent money to see 'Sphere' in the theaters.

I am curious about something. How many of you have actually gone to see a movie, gotten into the theater, had the film start -- and then literally walk out and ask for a refund before the thing is over?

That's happened to me only three times in my life. The movies involved were "Short Circuit 2," "Speed Racer," and (you guessed it) "Sphere." None of them lasted more than 40 minutes or so before I gave up.

Oh, and the third 'Matrix' film was absolutely revolting (at least to me).

Happy travels.
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You under estimate my age, for I was born in the mid-50s and definitely a fan of the television series 'Lost In Space.' But the movie, which started off fine, went totally downhill about halfway through, and can't compare to the original.

And no doubt, Sean Connery is, and forever will be the real James Bond. I saw Goldfinger when it first hit the screens, so there for being old enough! :p
 
I really liked Where The Wild Things Are. :)

Other Movies I can't stand are the scary/superhero/epic movie movies...They're just plain lame and so unfunny that it hurts.
 
I am not a huge fan of the 3,5 and 6 Harry Potter movies, although one of my favourite movies int he very first on (i also love the book version of the first!)
 
15 Inglorius B*saterds sorry Quinten whilst it had its moments, this was crap, brad pit doing bad fart acting, and history being re-written

Are you serious? This movie was great. Yes, off course it was over the top, and yes history was rewritten in this movie, but that is just the crarm of it. And it was great to see brad pitt in a movie like this one, he should make more like these.
 
this won't qualify as a "worst" movie but its almost certainly going to be pretty bad: a remake of that great 1984 movie "The Karate Kid" with Jackie Chan as the Mr. Miyagi character and Will Smith's son as the Karate Kid. That's right, Ralph Macchio's character is being replaced with a little homie kid called Dre. Complete with rap on the soundtrack. Watch the trailer and see what you think.
 
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I've been stuck inside lately out of the rain, watching a lot of DVDs , so I thought this thread deserved a bump:

"The Happening"...I can't even begin to describe how bad this one was. Good thing Marky Mark's a scientist though so he could figure out what was, er, happening.

"Cloverfield". Seriously? Did anyone at all leave the theatre feeling that was money well spent? Now I do sometimes like a movie left open at the end so you can make up your own mind what everything meant, but you need an actual story to do that. This movie was literally pointless, with the directors obviously hoping the "personal cam-corder" gimmick would hide its lack of, well, everything. I did though love the bit where the camera guy was fighting off the little alien things...but not letting go of the camera while doing so! Way to prioritise there buddy :D

"2012" - a no-brainer in more ways than one. Does Roland Emmerich even own a map? I did honestly think more than once during this movie that it was made as a joke. But who knows? [cool special effects though]

"Sucker Punch" - yes, the title describes what the viewer gets for paying to watch it. Who would have thought that the escapist fantasies of female mental patients would be so applicable to the viewing tendencies of 14 year old boys? How old was the director anyway? Just curious.
 
The Amazing Panda Adventure. Just awful. Draggy plot, crap acting from what I remembern and reallllly obvious armatronic pandas :P
 
Time to add more fuel...

...to what is obviously a nicely-growing bonfire. :D

More recent updates (at least within the past year or so)...

THE HARRY POTTER FLICKS: Sorry. I've given up on the lot of them (losing too many favored characters tends to do that). I really hope Dan Radcliffe doesn't get too typecast, because he seems like a decent enough actor.

THE GREEN HORNET: The MST3K gang wouldn't touch this loser with a 3.048 meter pole. I'm just glad my lady and I didn't waste theater money on it (I borrowed the DVD from someone at work). Wooden acting, horrible continuity... we gave up after less than an hour, and switched to something decent from our existing collection.

DISAGREEMENT ON EARLIER POST: Both of us quite liked 'Avatar.' A bit too predictable, yes, but still fun. The trick, with movies like that, is don't take them too seriously.

I AM NUMBER FOUR: More like "I am the Bottom of the Barrel." Although we stuck this one out all the way through (fortunately, on another borrowed DVD), it wasn't worth it. In plot (what there was of it, anyway), it resembled a very badly-done rip-off of the (much better) TV series, 'Roswell,' with a bit from "Phantasm" thrown in just for the gross-out factor.

RANGO: Gag. Just plain gag. Carlos Casteneda mysticism meets the Wild West? And maybe I'm a bit biased, but making a red-tail hawk a 'bad guy' just for following his natural instincts? Cripes, I got more entertainment out of "The Phantom Menace."

I hope I don't have cause to bash any more this year. Hollywood's handed us way too many stinkers.

Happier travels.
 
Agree that "Cloverfield" was rubbish, relying on a gimmick similar to Blair Witch. And another dog from last year "Skyline".

Just regarding the Lost in Space discussion: I wasn't too thrilled with the movie either, very dark, especially compared with the TV series. Having said that, I recently bought the TV Series on DVD and while the first season was great, the second and third seasons went rapidly downhill, more like pantomimes than TV, and some episodes were just execrable.

:p

Hix
 
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