Zoo Chat Story time

entire area was placed under conpulsory purchase order for an underwater shopping centre - the first of it's kind in the UK.
Dejected the Tamarins decided that the war was no longer viable and the only option now was to mount the worlds first Tamarin Mission to Mars......small furry mammals in space, how could the public refuse!!!!
With this in mind a small crack squad of ninja Tamarins proceeded to.....
 
.....dress up as ninja turtles. As no money was being spent on space exploration the happy go lucky Tamarins and those dressed up as turtles decided to seek employment. However there was no employment around for them especially as organ grinders are not to be found these days. Because they could not find employment and no one seemed to take them as serious mammals they decided to have a riot (as is the fashion these days) and loot the new underwater shopping centre. As darkness drew the time to riot approached, led by the ninja turtle dressed individuals hoards and hoards of unruly Tamarins approached the destination when suddenly it happened ......
 
to stop raining and the sun came out and dried up all the pools of water,so they had a game of cricket against ............
 
the Weta team - New Zealands finest but possibly smallest Cricket team.

The run rate was a tad low as the distance from stumps to stumps is a flipping long way for a Weta - but more risky was the chance that they might get eaten on the way.
During the break for tea the sky darkened as......
 
were rather ...erm.....Big.......and erm.....Black......

No matter thought the Weta spin bowler making a huge run up to the crease.....
 
... when the black cloud led to rain stops play, or a case of wetter weta weather and a cricket at the wicked wicket. This was a bit unfortunate, as the tamarins ate the crickets, although they never found Buddy Holly, and then complained because Microsoft Word thought the author wanted to write 'tamarinds,' though why any Zoo Chatter would want to write about fruit can only be explained by ...
 
the recent discovery of the very rare lesser spotted vegetarian tree elephant which is particularly partial to tamarinds although they know never to eat them in the month of September due to the high levels of......
 
... of leaf fall at this time of year. Fortunately, lesser spotted tree elephants are pink. How many people would believe the claim that pink elephants fall from the sky? Unfortunately, the elephants often fall onto cocktail sticks. Some people think they are attracted by glace cherries, but zoologists believe ....
 
it's the subtle aroma of martini that attracts them. A fact supported by lesser spotted tree elephants (loxodonta arborius roseatus) research team which often immerses itself in Martini Rosso in the hope of attracting the L.S.T.E. or 'Lustie' as it is known to those in the know.
The level of cocktail stick induced injury can be directly corrolated with.....
 
... with the length of the tusks, due to an unusually short alimentary canal. Unfortunately, deep penetration of a cocktail stick can lead to zoologists being showered with Martini Rosso via the trunk. Some cryptozoologists have decided that the tree elephants are ...
 
a direct decendant of the long extinct Bush Elephant - at only half an inch tall and with a glow in the dark hide they had many survial issues - although they often managed to hide in the middle of busy A roads and the edges of motorways as they could camoflage themselves successfully as 'cats eyes' a feat often imitated but obviously unsucessfully by their other distant cousins the....
 
... deinotheres, mainly because the tusks of the lower jaw prevented the proboscis from merging into the road surface. Local people laughed when zoologists described their busy roads. "We've had trunk roads for years, but we don't recognise those little monkeys that are ....
 
.... computer keyboard, totally changing the forums on Zoo Chat. There are now blue whales in Chessington World of Adventures, San Diego now specialises in stalk-eyed flies and a blobfish is the President of the FZS. Things can only get better if we....
 
encourage biodiversity, "I know hybridisation is generally frowned upon" though the Lead Bull of the Tree Elephant herd but if we somehow encourage strange parnerships we may be able to take over the world ....

Trumpetting loudly the herd then proceeded to ...
 
... surreptitiously breed with sleeping Russian elephants. Over several years, elephants provided for future generations by carrying successively smaller elephants inside their bodies. The smallest elephant, in the centre of the body, was the tree elephant with the craving for cocktail sticks. Zoo visitors complained that they couldn't see the tiny elephant, so zoo staff placated them with ....
 
the provision of a souvenir magnifying glass with every zoo guide published.
"Huzzah" said the elephants as people could finally see how stunning they were. Alas and alack the zoo also placed magnifying windows on the enclosure - this lead to everyone believeing that the inch tall tree elephants (with a penchant for cocktail sticks) looked as if they were over12 feet tall and liked to play with full tree trunks - the panic and terror that ensued caused....
 
visitors to flee when they saw gigantic ants climbing up the cocktail sticks. The visitors didn't like the idea of 12 feet tall elephants, but were even less inclined to accept the idea of foot long Eleph ants. It was just as well that there weren't any mosquitos around or the visitors may have resorted to ....
 
calling in the SWAT team, the final forever and ever last resort for any zoo.
But coming to the rescue of all mankind (well all mankind in the zoo anyway) came the frontline troops of the zoo world - armoured malaysian Tapirs - with their fearsome weapons and backward spraying liquid deterrant they strolled nonchalantly into the public areas as if they didn't have a care in the world, in fact they were secretly concerned at the plight of......
 
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