Not even myself, really. The idea for this plan didn’t formulate in my brain until a few weeks ago, the actual details of the trip weren’t semi-solidified until a week prior to enacting it, and whether or not to enact this thread was only decided a couple of days ago. I'm an improviser; that'll become clear fairly soon into this thread.
A bit of context: for multiple reasons, I have traveled across the country more times than I can count. Now I know what a lot of you (especially from outside North America) are thinking: “Whoa, you drive across the entire North American continent? A trip that takes days and can involve 35-40 total hours of driving? And you do it by yourself? That’s practically superhuman! You’re so cool, Coelacanth!” And is that the truth?
Yeah, sure, why not? I can’t dictate to others whether or not I’m awesome. If you all believe it, it must be true.
Anyway, I’m pretty used to the driving at this point – maybe too used to it. A combination of financial stinginess and fear of existential dread while driving across endless prairies has always pushed me to get across as quickly as possible – usually about four days from coast to coast, never more than four and a half. I usually make myself pull off to do one thing for myself every time; usually it involves trying to see some wild bison out on the prairie somewhere. I thought about visiting a zoo or two on my last trip, but exhibit closures were still prevalent and the risk of the virus seemed too high.
But now I'm vaccinated. The zoos are open. I left early enough to have leeway in my travels, have enough money in my bank account, and the weather is just nice enough still in November for my southerly route to be decent for outdoor animal viewing. What was standing in my way, other than my own reticence?
I decided to carpe diem the I-40 and started planning my itinerary.
This won’t be a tale of a grand adventure on the scale of, say, @snowleopard or @CGSwans looping round and round the continent for over a month (though with the possibility of addendums in the weeks to follow I might be able to stretch it out if there’s ample demand). After poring over all the options, conferring with multiple ZooChatters, and writing up a priority list of what species I’d grumble for years about not seeing before they perish, I had a list of 7 initial zoos and a simple route to take me through all of them.
I waffled about whether to do a trip thread or not. I’ve not historically been big on writing reviews – I’m more of a “I came, I saw, I photographed a bird and called it a day” kind of person. Of course I would do species lists, but was writing up an entire travel thread too out of my wheelhouse? After mulling it over, I decided: maybe, but who cares? There’s been a sad dearth of travel threads for the past year and a half, for reasons that take no explaining to anyone who hasn’t been in a coma or the jungles of New Guinea. Even if I’m not the hero you deserve, I’m the hero you've got... my condolences for that.
But if you’re not inspired by my truly inspiring and impressive decision to write what is essentially a few blog posts, I’ll include tales of my traveling as well to sweeten the deal. Who doesn’t want to know the answers to such amazing questions as “How much Taco Bell do you have to eat before your stomach turns to iron?” or “How can you tell which of two seedy motels is the one you’re less likely to get robbed at?” Point is, I answer the important questions that nobody asked but that I conveniently imagined they did.
In addition to the usual travel tidbits, the reviews themselves will come with "the works" - links to species lists and an updated media gallery, as well as useful stats like zoo size, rarities, and recommended visit times. I'll also throw in a Fast Food Review of the Day for extra entertainment. And of course, don't worry about interrupting; feel free to jump in with questions, comments, or praise at any time
I may not know a lot of things, but I’d like to think there’s at least three things I do know: zoos, long car trips, and how to tell a good story. So whether it's too cold to hit up a zoo yourself or your family is annoying you over the winter holidays, pull up a chair and listen to me ramble about slender lorises, duct tape, and Whataburger for a bit. I can’t promise you’ll be entertained, but... you know what, screw it. Guaranteed or your Zoochat money back!
