Animal Jokes/Puns

[Dassie rat]

What is the favourite Sam Cooke song for rails and their relatives?

Crane gang

 

[Dassie rat]

What is the favourite Sweet song for amphibians?

Hellbender

 

[Dassie rat]

What is the favourite Elton John song for amphibians?

Goodbye Natterjack Toad

 

[Austin the Sengi]

What does a Harnessed Bushbuck say when its closest companion does something insanely awesome?

“Now that’s Kewel”

 

[Dassie rat]

Which football team do pigs support?

Swindedon Town

 

[Dassie rat]

Which football team do donkeys support?

Assenal

 

[Dassie rat]

Which football team do amphibians support?

Toadenham Hotspur

 

[Dassie rat]

Which football teams do snails support?

Shellsea and Shelltic

 

[Dassie rat]

Which football team do eels support?

Elverton

 

[Dassie rat]

Which football teams do rodents support?

West Hamster United and Gnawich City

 

[Dassie rat]

Which football team do fish support?

Codchester Town

 

[Dassie rat]

Which football team do flies support?

Gnats County

 

[Dassie rat]

Which football team do young sea lice not support?

Motherwell

 

[Dassie rat]

Which football team do flies and beetles support?

Dungdee United

 

[Dassie rat]

Which football team do raptors support?

Owldham Athletic

 

[iluvwhales]

If you're looking for small Indonesian ungulates, anoa guy.

Why don't marine biologists make good spouses? They're known to send unsolicited nudibranchs!

 

[Pootle]

Why did the lion spit out the clown?

Because he tasted funny!!

 

[Dassie rat]

What do antelopes say today?

Happy Gnu Year

 

[aardvark250]

What does a zoochatter who like Sirenians and a Chinese festival have in common?

They both like du-gong

 

[FBBird]

There’s an expression ‘hoist with your own petard’, which I think means ‘blown up by your own mine/bomb’. I always think it should be short for ‘….with your own pet aardvark.’